Subj: Feeling A Bit Silly
Date: 98-02-17
A friend of mine suggested that I check out the Living EM web site. The first night, I read a bit about what it was all about. That was fine. The second night, I went to the second part of a series on Right Identification. I read about three-quarters down on the page, and I was so frustrated because I wanted to understand so badly that I actually hurt inside. But I couldn't. Now, I'm not a stupid woman. Asa matter of fact, I work at a company where I've managed, with no college education, to work my way up from the bottom into a very prestigious position. I'm managing a merger between my company (a large xxxxxx) and another xxxx service. I coordinate everything that's going on in our East Coast markets. That's everything West of the xxxx. So, again, I know, I'm not a dummy.
But when I read what is written in the Living EM pages, I can't make heads or tails of anything. Now, I consider myself a Christian. I read the Bible faithfully and I prefer the NIV to the old King James flowery stuff. I pray regularly, and I really want to understand what you're all about, because going from one church to another and feeling dead all the time is not my idea of a good time. I'm sick to death of it. As a matter of fact, I've just about given up on any organized religion.
I actually cried for about 20 minutes after reading a portion of your stuff, mainly because I'm really having a difficult time getting the grasp of what you are trying to convey. Everything sounds so esoteric and beyond my scope of understanding and I guess that's what frustrates me. I'm also in touch with an Assemblies of God minister, who is pretty close to being the most Godly minister I've ever met (in word and by his fruits). I've shunned going to any type of church for years, although I was married once and converted to Catholicism. (Pretty comfy there, until I really started reading my Bible).
I'm not sure what you can do for me, except help me to understand and when I read the stuff at your website, I'm not sure you can. There are kernels of understanding, but for the most part, I simply do not even know what the whole thrust of your ministry is. Perhaps you could just point me in the right direction of where I could start from the beginning and then, work my way up to some comprehension of what's on your web page.
I'm getting married again on xxxxx to a wonderful man who knows how much I have been seeking the truth these past few years. He is very supportive and we talk all the time. I just feel so empty most of the time. Now, I'm not what you'd call a depressive individual, nor am I simply melancholy. I'm what most people consider to be perky and upbeat. It's one of the reason's why I got where I am in my business. I get along well with people. It's just this private side of me that nobody really knows well, that I'm having difficulty with. I just know that God has something for me, if I could just figure out what it is. Perhaps you can help. Perhaps not. It's up to you. Thanks for reading this, at least. You can e-mail me, if you'd like at xxx Appreciate it. Thanks.
PASTOR SHEILA: You don't sound silly to me. You sound like an honest person who is seeking God with all her strength. I will have to ask you to wait for a day or so until I can answer you in detail, but in the mean time I will say this to you:
Spiritual things must be spiritually discerned. This means that only the mind of Christ can comprehend the deep things of His Spirit. The Holy Spirit is a free gift, but the Mind of Christ must be formed in you, and is not free. He is the fruit that appears in the spirit that searches long and hard for Him and His righteousness. He is the reward of a faithful and honest heart.
I would say to you that the Lord wants you to have His Mind. That is why He led you to the fruit of His Mind: the Doctrine of Christ. I pray for you this night, that you should have your heart's desire: That you should know God intimately, and comprehend the things of His Spirit with His Mind, and that in due season, the ability to distinguish between the two minds [the one you were born with, and the Mind of Christ], should be found in you, and that you should unwaveringly choose the Mind of Christ, no matter what the cost, that you might know Him and the power of His resurrection, that He might be glorified in you.
Be at peace, the Lord has chosen you, because you have preferred Him. I will write again shortly.
In Christ,
Pastor Sheila
Hello again xxxxx-
PASTOR SHEILA: I have prayed for you and asked the Lord how I can help you in addition to what I told you in my first e-mail, and this is what is on my heart:
It is true that some people have a predisposition to understand spiritual things, but many do not and, for those people, it is necessary to start at the beginning by "building spirituality" into them. Spirituality is imparted through intimate contact with a spirit. There are 2 spirits in the world today building spirituality in humanity: The Lord Jesus Christ and the spirit of the carnal mind that we are all born with. To find out that may not be spiritual can be preferable to being a spiritual person by the spirit of this world system.
The experience that most believers have had with Jesus Christ is called "reconciliation." We are reconciled to Him through our relationship with the Holy Spirit, but there is a much greater intimacy with the Lord Jesus available to us. We have the opportunity to bear His spiritual child (1 Tim 2:15), the man-child of Rev. 12, and that spiritual child is a mind, the Mind of Christ.
The needs of the believer who is pregnant with Christ, or one who has a desire to "go on with God," which usually leads to "spiritual pregnancy of the mind," are different than the believer who is "reconciled" to Jesus through the Holy Spirit. The former hungers for understanding, knowledge and doctrine, and the latter is satisfied without it. I am in no way suggesting that believers in one condition are inferior or superior to the others -- just that their needs are different.
Living Epistles Ministries is 10 years old. The Lord started to bring forth the Doctrine of Christ in me at least 15 years ago [i have lost track as to exactly when this started], and is still maturing it in me. I, too, am a student and disciple of Jesus Christ, albeit, several steps ahead of those who study with me. Every week i learn more and, whatever He teaches me, I pass on.
Spiritual doctrine is something we all must work at. The brethren here take the work very seriously. They attend 3 - 4 meetings a week and then review the messages on tape during the following week. They actually put hours and hours into learning the Word of God. I am not saying that you should do the same, but am trying to convey to you that your inability to understand the doctrine here is very understandable.
I believe that the Lord has heard your heartfelt prayer, and has agreed that you should have the opportunity to mature into Christ Jesus. The Holy Spirit is a free gift, but there is a spiritual labor which must be worked to enter into spiritual maturity, which requires an effort on the believer's part. Not every one desires spiritual maturity and, of those who do, not many are willing to pay the price. What you decide to do, and the extent of the effort that you put in, is between you and the Lord Jesus. My job is to make the information available to serious seekers.
In this vein, I recommend that you start by studying the beginning tapes. Actually, we have two points of beginning. Tape ## 1 - 103 are the original beginning tapes, and tape # 104 starts the "Basic Principles" series that the Lord gave us when He brought several new students into the group. I think you would probably do best to start with the early tapes.
Our mailed lending audio tape library is free. Your responsibility is return postage. You may keep the tapes as long as you are actively studying them. We start beginners with 5 tapes so that they can "test the waters." Our numerical and alphabetical tape lists may be reviewed from our Library Page. If you would like to access our lending library, please make a formal request through our Order Page.
Whatever your decision, xxx, I know that you have touched God's heart. I send my blessings in Christ Jesus, and wish you well in things.
Your fellow laborer in Christ,
Pastor Sheila
