Date: 8/10/1999
From: xxxxxxxx
To: Pastor Vitale
PASTOR SHEILA: To pick one paragraph out of two emails that I sent you, and ask me to respond to it, without even acknowledging my counsel and corrections to you, is an attempt to control this controversy. this is what people in the world do. It is not done in the Lord's house.
I picked out this paragraph as it seemed to me to be the cause of all of the misunderstanding here. I was under the impression that xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. I am sorry I misunderstood. It was not my intention to take authority that was not assigned to me. That is the truth.
PASTOR SHEILA: That is the whole point. This issue of the xxxxxxxxxx is what is most important to you, but not so to the Lord and to me. Our concern is with your well being [because we reap what we sow] and that the household of God should prosper and be in peace.
I want you to know that I have done what you advised me in your emails, taking this matter to the Lord, ever since this all started.
PASTOR SHEILA: This is good. I am glad to hear it.
I do understand your emails and I will say that I have dealt with this problem in pride and rebellion.
Xxxxx
PASTOR SHEILA: This is confession, not repentance, but that is okay for now. sometimes true repentance does not come for quite a while after confession.
I am delighted to tell you that you have taken the victory for today, and that your victory is a victory for all of us, because we are one body in Christ. Praise God! The whole is restored to right relationship with the Lord because you overcame pride, the destroyer of every good thing.
This will not be our last conflict xxxxxxxxxxx, but there is always victory and spiritual growth through submission to Christ Jesus, and to what He says is right.
Even if I had realized that you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, I would not have been angry with you or tried to punish you. I would have asked you not to do it again.
You are no different than anyone else who is going through this process of conversion from sinner to saint. I tell you what I tell everyone:
You have an abusive past, but I am not an abuser. I am the imperfect manifestation of Christ Jesus to you and in that office have a great, although still imperfect, ability to love you in Christ Jesus. This means that I manifest righteousness to you and teach you, without condemnation, when you make a mistake. Yes, I can make a mistake, but the MOTIVES of my carnal mind are very bound and rarely escape. When they do escape, I know it, and have the ability granted to me to cry out to the Lord to help me to not mistreat anyone.
Why would I do such a thing? Because the most important thing in the world to me is my right standing with Jesus, and my desire to be like Him, and walk in His footsteps. Christ in every one of the disciples knows this is true, but the carnal mind in every one of you hates Christ in me.
The solution to this problem is for every disciple to harness Leviathan and Satan, Leviathan's dog within himself, but no one can do this unless they can first recognize the thoughts, attitudes, words and behavior of Satan and Leviathan in their own mind. This is where I come in.
It is to be expected that Satan and Leviathan in each disciple will attack Christ in me. This is how they are revealed, and we cannot take the victory over them unless and until they are revealed. No one is ever prepared for this painful experience, but if our heart is truly towards Jesus, we will make it, little by little, until we learn how to control our own negative principles. This is the ministry of the Son: To assist the young son who is temporarily overcome, by standing in righteous truth and in right order.
Xxxx has been through a lot with me and has manifested many times in very similar ways to the incident at hand. But her faith and hope in Jesus brought her back every time until, now, she has found safety in her ability to submit to the wisdom that is available through me, until she matures in the problem area herself. It takes time to come to this place, but is well worth it. My whole life is given over to the saints. You are welcome to everything that I have. All I ask is that you respect me and obey the rules that Jesus, Himself, has laid down.
In the event that you are not aware of it, you are still manifesting unforgiveness and resentment. Don't let up on these manifestations of pride until they are fully burning in the lake of fire. Your spiritual life depends upon it.
I look forward to the day when, once again, you will sign your emails "love," but I have never stopped loving you once during this whole controversy. Does this make me good and you bad? Most certainly not! But it does make me more mature than you.
I love you in my behavior and attitudes towards you. I love you because I have not retaliated towards you. I love you because I responded to the words of your carnal mind with truth, I love you because I did not give up on you, I love you because I separated the part of you that loves Jesus from Satan and Leviathan, I love you because I fought for your spiritual life [I could have said, "who needs this"], I love you because I am committed to you and am not willing to throw away all that we have built over these past years, I love you because I responded to your confession [this is forgiveness], I love you because I will forgive you 7 x 70, asking only that you honor me, I love you because I do not expect you to be perfect and accept that you are not, I love you because I want what is best for you, not what is best for me, I love you because I will never agree with your wrong thinking, I love you because I will minister to you, no matter what your faults are [so long as you honor me] until Jesus pulls me out [which I do not ever expect Him to do], I love you because I would never end my assignment as your teacher as an act of my own will, or for my own benefit or self-esteem.
So have I told you all this to put you down? Of course not! But to be an example to you that love suffers long and does not quit.
Several people heard the cries of your heart today, "I want to die," "it's too hard to stand," "this ministry is too hard, I think I will quit," etc. You need to know that you are not an isolated island, and that the thoughts of your mind are public knowledge to those who hear in the Spirit. You also need to know that it is possible for the thoughts of your heart to be heard by a weak person who will take them for his own, and act them out.
The first time that I heard that we are responsible for all of our words, I couldn't believe it, but I now know that it is true. What happened these last two days had to impact xxxxxx, xxxxxx and xxxxxxxn, and whoever else. And the truth is that I, and everyone who stands behind me, stood between your sin and the destruction that it could have brought upon the people you are responsible for. This is called covering your sin, because if we were not standing in the gap, you would be responsible for any hurt caused to them because you did not restrain your own negative principles.
There is no place to run from this ministry, because it is not the physical ministry of LEM that you are running from. It is the spiritual ministry of Christ Jesus, who has received you as a son. You are not a bastard, so He will correct you whether you are in heaven [under Godly discipleship] or in hell [out from under the cover of the discipline He has put you under]. There is nothing left for you to do but to turn and fight your own negative principles. You will not die physically, but you will surely die to your carnal mind and be everything you are called to be in Christ Jesus..
God bless you.
Love,
Pastor Sheila
