Subj: Re: Praying in the Spirit
Date: 7/2/1998
From: XXXX
Dear Pastor Sheila,
Thank you for your reply on praying in the Spirit. I was told that I probably have the ministry of intercession in tongues because of the way my language changes and the intensity of it over a period of time. It felt strange to me (I suppose the carnal mind was opposing it and I had read that tongues can be counterfeited by Satan too, and I really thought that I was manifesting satanic tongues, so I stopped).
PASTOR SHEILA: This is a possibility. I received demonic tongues at the time that I was being drawn by the Lord, and didn't know which end was up yet. Fear however is nothing but a deficit. If you have false tongues, and you put your situation before the Lord, he will bring deliverance. But, if you stop praying in tongues because of fear, this decision was made by your carnal mind, and Christ is not in it. At this time, I have no perception that your tongues are false, but on the contrary, perceive that you might have an unusual warfare anointing. I ask the Lord right now to confirm or disaffirm this perception. My counsel is that you renew this ministry in your life. It is possible that it will bring you the spiritual and emotional relief that you are looking for. Rebuke fear, and ask the Lord continually to deliver you if the tongues are false. After praying in such a manner, no response from the Lord would be a confirmation of the validity of the tongues to me.
I will ask the Lord if He has a ministry for me in intercession and go from there. It's hard to explain, but when I started praying in tongues, there were only three or four words I would say repeatedly and was told that if I kept on praying that I would experience a breakthrough as the Lord saw that I was faithful to continue in my prayer language.
PASTOR SHEILA: We "break through" when we pierce through Satan's defenses and stumbling blocks, not because the Lord sees that we are faithful. I cannot relate to having only three or four words in my prayer language vocabulary, although I know someone who has the same experience.
more a day in my prayer closet (an ACTUAL closet)
PASTOR SHEILA: LOL
while my son would nap and the Lord (I thought it was the Lord at the time) changed my prayer language many times during these sessions.
PASTOR SHEILA: I have experienced this.....
The only thing I felt uncomfortable about was the intensity of the prayers,
PASTOR SHEILA: and this........
and I felt that my face was contorting at times... in a grotesque manner.
PASTOR SHEILA: and this.....
I would go from Chinese to Russian to Spanish, from warfare and screaming in the Spirit to a soft singing, even to travail and intense emotional crying.
PASTOR SHEILA: and something very similar to this.
It scared me and I wasn't sure that all of this was coming from God.
PASTOR SHEILA: I can fully understand your concern, and have experienced such concern many times, over my tongues, and over the doctrine of Christ. You are certainly not the run of the mill Christian, and such experiences are one more indication that Christ is in you. I have never heard of a Christian with the Holy Spirit having such experiences. Actually, at the moment, I cannot recall knowing anyone besides myself who has had such experiences, especially the facial distortions. I spent many years on my face before God begging for deliverance, but eventually accepted the fact that my experiences were from God, but that I was different. And all this before I ever had any idea that the Mind of Christ was different than the Holy Spirit.
Now I don't have an hour to intercede anymore because my son doesn't take naps, and I've stopped praying in the Spirit. I've often felt bad for giving that up, but then again it wasn't a comfortable experience for me. I often felt very drained and exhausted when I finished the hour, my face streaked with tears and energy zapped.
PASTOR SHEILA: This is a stage that I went through, being drained of energy, until "my gift" matured out of emotionalism into the stability which is in Christ Jesus. I still have moments where Christ Jesus in me cries, but I haven't screamed in a longtime. I do from time to time become drained of energy to the point that I have to lie down and take a nap, but this only after deep study in spiritual matters.
If the Lord has a ministry for me in intercession I will willingly accept. I just want to make sure that the tongues that I am manifesting are definitely coming from HIM, and not from the enemy. Is there any way to tell what are the true tongues and what are the counterfeit?
PASTOR SHEILA: I think I answered this question above.
I appreciate your reply to my question and your experience with tongues. I know it's not of the Lord to envy someone's ministry, but your ministry does sound much more exciting than a ministry of intercession.
PASTOR SHEILA: My ministry is very exciting, and very painful. I tell you the truth. It is good that you can confess envy in a positive way. Envy, quite simply, is a manifestation of spiritual immaturity. Open and honest confession is the first step towards maturing out of it. But, be careful about what you desire. One can never see the hidden side of things. I pay a very heavy price. Not many could bear it.
But I guess having a ministry of intercession will wither my pride really fast because all of the work is done before the Lord, and behind closed doors. I can't see what is actually happening in the Spirit, whereas you are able to perceive sin and correct it in others and actually see a transformation taking place.
PASTOR SHEILA: This is true. The ministry of the Son, is not rewarded openly, and it does kill your pride. But I would like you to know that exposing sin is a very painful ministry. More often than not, no matter how submitted the disciple, or other person is, Satan rises in them, and attacks me. The kind of torment that you have been experiencing, is a common occurrence in my life. I understand that this ministry is a great honor, spiritually speaking, but it is truly bitter in the belly.
It is very interesting that you should say this, and suggests to me that I was speaking to you in the Spirit yesterday. Christ Jesus in me speaks to people in the Spirit all the time, but I never know who they are unless their issue manifests in the natural. As I was driving the car yesterday, I said, supposedly to the air, "I intensely dislike exposing sin, Lord, but I understand that it is a part of the whole package," and continued on from there to have a long discussion with the Lord about the issue.
whatever I am called to do that Christ Jesus does it through me and that I can be the yielded vessel.
PASTOR SHEILA: This is the best way to go.
I look up to you and your ministry and respect your commitment and concern for the rising sons of God.
PASTOR SHEILA: Thank you. I really appreciate the respect and appreciation that you show me.
Also, in your response about my having a more difficult time ascending into the higher centers because of my family life, I do understand that. I know I can't turn back the clocks of time to begin my life over again, but I appreciate the scripture you showed me that with Christ, all things are possible. I do believe that because I have so much overcoming to do of the flesh, and that the swing from carnality to spirituality is so severe that it seems an impossible task, that if the Lord has led me this far, He will not bring me back down, but allow me to taste (if even a small one) of the overcoming life in Christ Jesus. I am confident that what He has begun to do in me will continue to the day of the coming of the Lord. I'm actually getting used to the trials and almost find myself looking for them - as a challenge to grow more and more each day.
PASTOR SHEILA: It is good to hear that you are acceptance the life of a warrior.
I do wish I had a local group of believers that were studying the Doctrine of Christ, because I don't feel very much a part of the Body in the church I am going to. I didn't go to church last week because I wasn't feeling well, and my husband made it clear that he was mad that I wasn't going. Not disappointed, MAD. He said I only go when it's convenient for me. I thought it was unreasonable for him to be feeling that way about my decision to attend or not attend a church I don't feel a part of (besides the fact that I wasn't feeling well), but I know that he is the spiritual authority of the family and so I was feeling guilty all day long for not going. This spirit of guilt hung around me for two days, as I could perceive in the spirit that he was still unhappy about the situation.
PASTOR SHEILA: Guilt is never of God, but is the fruit of condemnation, which must be resisted and warred against. I know that your husband is beloved to you, but when he opposes the will of God in your life, he is your enemy for the Kingdom of God's sake. Did it ever occur to you that the Lord may have kept you home last Sunday so that you could attend the spontaneous online meeting?
I don't know if I should just push myself to go with him to give him satisfaction, or if I should look for another church that will feed me and teach more of the TRUTH I have been accustomed to. I do enjoy the tapes and the transcripts that I listen to or read daily, yet I know that we shouldn't forsake the assembling of ourselves, and I do feel like I am a vital part of the Body. Do you think I am wrong for not attending with my husband?
PASTOR SHEILA: As soon the Holy Spirit starts directing a woman's life, her physical husband is no longer her spiritual head. This concept is not understood in the carnal church, but it is true nevertheless. The physical husband is head of the physical woman and the physical children, and the physical household. Jesus has become the woman's husband for spiritual purposes.
This is a hard word, but human marriage, spiritually speaking, is a homosexual union. Spiritual heterosexuality is manifested in a marriage between the Lord Jesus Christ and a human personality. A marriage between two personalities is, for all spiritual intents and purposes, Leviathan in the one, marrying Leviathan in the other.
Rom 7:4 Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God. (KJV)
The Scripture clearly states that your physical husband has no authority over your spiritual life, but very few Christian men understand this. In your situation, this is a very important issue, because Christ is coming forth in you. This means that, spiritually speaking, you are the priest of the family. This would be shocking to your husband, if he were to hear it. I do not recommend that you tell him this. But it is, nevertheless, the truth. Now, you are challenged to lead a double life. To be a submissive wife when it comes to the natural family, concerning your children, your household, and family matters, in general, but to exercise your spiritual office as priest over spiritual matters, SECRETLY, in your prayer closet. I call this passive dominion. It kills your pride, but it is what God requires of you.
Your husband is a Christian. Hopefully, he hears from God. Pray that the Lord give you favor with him, that the Lord soften his heart, that the Lord give him understanding, that the Lord help him to deal with his pride, because, on some level, he knows that you are leaving him behind spiritually.
The issue of "submission" is greatly misunderstood in the Church today. ALL SUBMISSION IS TO CHRIST JESUS. When Christ Jesus is not directly influencing a physical woman's life, she submits to her husband, IN ALL AREAS THAT HE IS A GODLY MAN. But as soon as Christ Jesus begins to influence a physical woman's life, she must follow Him.
Needless to say, Christ Jesus would never direct a woman to be unkind to her husband, or rebel against his God-ordained authority over the natural family. We are talking about spiritual issues here.
This spirit of guilt hung around me for two days, as I could perceive in the spirit that he was still unhappy about the situation.
PASTOR SHEILA: This is manipulation. You have the authority, in the spirit, SILENTLY, IN YOUR PRAYER CLOSET, to rebuke condemnation and manipulation wherever it is appearing, and to give him the strength to overcome his own carnal, ungodly, reaction to your behavior, although he probably thinks he is doing the right thing. One very important lesson that I have learned, that helps me to manifest Christ in a difficult situation, is that more often than not, people who are attacking me, think they're doing God a service. This is why the Sons of God are primarily teachers. By teaching we impart a second choice to Satan's victims. There is no possibility of someone choosing righteousness, if they have no idea what the righteous thought or the righteous behavior is. But you cannot teach someone, who is not willing to learn, especially, when they think that they have the authority over you. Pray silently, rebuking the enemy both in yourself and the other person, and remain silent, unless the Lord opens your mouth.
Should I look for another church?
PASTOR SHEILA: The answer is yes, although I doubt that you'll find one that meets your needs. Again, the carnal Christians would disagree, but I see nothing wrong with a husband and wife each going to the church that the Lord calls them to. Obviously, it is ideal if both husband and wife are called to the same church, but I do not think that one's spiritual life should be compromised.
On the other hand, your children's spiritual education is another issue. If both parents have received the kingdom message, I cannot see the family going to a carnal church unless the Lord specifically tells you to do that. However, since you and your husband are divided on this issue, and there is not likely to be a kingdom church in your area, and your husband desires that the family should attend church together -- which is not a bad thing -- you might want to consider going to your local church for your children and your husband's sake.
Now it may sound like I have spoken into circle, but I have not. The main issue that you will have to confront your husband with, AS THE LORD LEADS, is that he does not have spiritual authority over you, that you answer to Christ Jesus in spiritual matters. Once you have established your autonomy in this area, and it is established that going to church, and your choice of the church, is your personal decision, you might find that either you yourself, or perhaps the Lord, will want you to attend church with your family some of the time. The bottom-line of course is what the Lord wants. But it would be very difficult to hear from the Lord in the midst of such a power-play as you describe. After the war is over, you might find that the Lord wants you to attend church with your family, WITH THE OPTION of not attending IF HE LEADS YOU ELSEWHERE.
