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I Don't Like Myself
I DON'T LIKE MYSELF
Scriptures references:
Mat 12:26, Mark 7:21-23, Roman 7:14-22, Rom 8:3-4, Gal 5:19-21, and James 1:8
I don’t like myself and why do I not like myself?
Is it because of what I think about myself?
Is it because of what I’m wearing and how I look physically?
Is it because of how I looked with no clothes on?
Is it because of what I am experiencing over and over?
Is because of what my friends, children, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, family, and strangers have told me.
Is it because of social media ideals of how I should like myself?
Is it because I’m not smart, beautiful, and attractive?
I don’t like myself.
It could be all of those reasons I have mentioned.
However, I realize I really don’t like myself.
It’s because of another reason. After hearing my reason, agree that you dislike yourself too.
What I’m talking about?
Before I became spiritually mature. I did and said lots of ungodly things.
I was full of pride.
I know I hurt lots of people, mentally and emotionally.
I did not think or consider the long-term consequences that would affect me and them.
I enjoy the pleasure I was receiving, and afterward, the emotional pain followed me.
I don’t like myself.
It cause me to cry many times, and there were many tears that I held in my mind.
All tears are not wet.
There are mental and emotional tears that are seen by observing my behaviors and what I said.
Because of that, I don’t like myself. I know that there are millions of people that feel the same way I do.
They don’t know why and because of their feeling they seek other methods, or pleasures, to bring some sort of mental release from their mental warfare.
Also, some individuals had killed themselves because of their other-self.
There are some individuals that are considering killing themselves or thinking about it.
You may think it is wrong not to like me.
How do I expect other individuals to like me when I don’t like myself?
What is it I dislike about myself that raised its head spiritually to bite me in my mind, causing me to be disgusted about what I had done and said?
It’s my sinful nature, my other mind, and my inner personality that I was born with.
I have another self and you too.
It expresses itself every second, minute, hour, day, week, and year.
I want to do the right thing, and I do not. I’m experiencing a constant battle within my mind. I hate my other self-expressing itself through me in various ways.
I have experienced minor victories doing the right thing, and yet I’m reminded that I hate the self that wins most of the time.
We all have 24 hours in a day. Sometimes we sleep, and sometimes we are awake.
There is no escaping from my other-self.
I struggle to do the right thing.
I struggle to say the right thing.
I’m aware of this constant spiritual battle within my mind that is causing me not to like myself.
I struggle to do the godly thing and that is why I dislike my sinful nature, which is constantly opposing the things of God.
When I cried out to God, He reveals to me I must have the mind of Christ to control my other self that would always be in me.
I agree with Him. I need the mind of Christ to fight my other self and the things I hate.
When the mind of Christ within me reminds me and brings back a memory of ungodly things I have done. I confess it as sin.
What can deliver me from feeling this way is from the truth that I learned that I have two natures living in me. Seeking to express itself through my behavior, and what I say.
I’m traveling on a spiritual journey to do my best to control the sinful nature that I hate, that seek to rise within my mind, causing me to say or not do the right thing.
When old thoughts surface in my mind that I had completely forgotten, it causes me to cry and I say to myself. I hate my other-self.
Why did it come to the surface because my new self, the mind of Christ that dwells within, is exposing it?
I need to seek God through meditation in his word, prayer, confessing my sins, repenting, learning about his moral character and his righteousness to cover over my other self.
I can’t say that I’m a follower of God and do the very thing that I hate. It’s my other self within me, causing me to oppose the things of God.
God has not given me special permission to do ungodly things with my other self that hates the things of God. My other self-want me to believe that I would not experience any form of consequence.
God has given me some opportunity to ask forgiveness and apologize for my sins to others and the pain that I had caused they forgave me.
Who am I? I have a spiritual nature in my mind that is of God. I have a sinful nature that will always conflict with one another.
I say I love the things of God and do the very opposite. It’s a constant battle to do the righteous thing.
My other self that I hate would always be within me, seeking to seduce me with pleasures I want.
In conclusion: We all have a sinful mind, sinning since we were born in our thoughts. When we come to the knowledge of God, we must have His mind form in us. The battle would begin because our other self would fight to the death to stop us from receiving the Mind of Christ to fight for us.
We must have a strong dislike (hate) towards the things that are opposing our experiences with God.
We should detest, oppose, and despise things or a person who is seeking to stop us from serving the Lord. God hates sin. His hate is not the same as a man’s. When a man hates, he seeks vengeance.
What God hates, He exposes our sinful thoughts and behaviors for us to recognize it as sin. We agree, then we confess it as sin, repent and stop committing the sin.
When I’m reminded that I hate my sinful self, and of my past sins, I hate. It’s the mind of Christ bringing them to the surface for me to recognize them, showing me my problems, and revealing His solutions.
I would confess the sins that I hate, and continue to recognize that my sinful nature will always fight against the mind of Christ within me and more sins will come to the surface that I hate.
I would rely on Christ’s mind within me to cover my sinful nature and the things I hate.
If I didn’t have the mind of Christ forming in me, I would not be saying I don’t like myself. My sinful other self would not be telling me to hate itself.
I have the Christ mind, telling me I should hate my other self that is constantly trying to stop the Christ mind from fighting and forming in me.
I love my other self, the mind of Christ within me, because I know He would fight for me if I agree to confront what I hate. If I surrender the mind of Christ for what I hate over and over, I would not be saying I don’t like myself. I would become part of what I hate, and Christ’s mind would spiritually dissolve.
It’s my prayer that what you are reading will cause you to think and realize that you have another self and you should hate it and it needs to be confronted with the truth.
Anthony Milton
