The Following Message Has Been Transcribed For Clarity, Continuity Of Thought, And Punctuation By The LEM Transcribing & Editing Team.
(LEM Roundtable Discussion)
Member: Should have done it at another time, correcting those?
Sheila: Member 1, when you ask a question, that's not a comment.
Member 1: We should have had nothing to do with that until after the meeting.
Sheila: Okay, why?
Member 1: Because we came into the meeting and this is his first meeting.
Member 3: I felt the same way, I felt that it should not have been taken care of at this time, it should have been at a time when it wasn't during the spiritual hour.
Sheila: Okay, is there anything you'd like to say, Member 2?
Member 2: No, I just knew that I had done everything else and I was stuck for time. And the corrections have already been made, I just had to check it over for a moment.
Sheila: But, you see, it wasn't for your time, it was time to be reading the notes and preparing our heart and our minds and our spirit to receive and understand the message that I bring forth. Everything is a mindset, and this fits right into the category of me telling everybody, please don't deal with me with business issues when I'm going to preach because these illustrations are dealt with with the carnal mind, and teaching of the Doctrine of Christ, or the understanding of the Doctrine of Christ is an activity of the Mind of Christ, and, if it's hard for me, the teacher, to go back and forth between the two minds, surely it would be hard for you and Member 1 to switch gears. So, when I let you read these notes before I come in to preach, the whole purpose of it is to get yourself into the Mind of Christ, that these notes should stir up the Mind of Christ in you, that your spirituality should rise to the surface, and that you should be prepared to receive the Word. So, to think of this in terms of free time, is wrong thinking. Can you hear that?
Member 2: I had already been done, even before the notes came out.
Sheila: But, was Member 1 done? Wait a minute, you had been done before the notes came out?
Member 2: Yes.
Sheila: But, the note never changes from Thursday. So, then I didn't understand what you said. How could, you were done with what before the notes came out?
Member 2: I had already checked it and I was done before the notes came out.
Sheila: With the illustrations?
Member 2: Yes, and I was just making a comment to Member 1 about it when the notes came out.
Sheila: What do you have to say about that? (asking Member 1)
Member 1: I had told Member 2 not to do any more now.
Member 2: Yes she had.
Member 1: I had said that because it might have been my fault before that she did it. But when I came out, I said, Member 2 we have to start reading the notes.
Sheila: I'd like the two of you to respond to what Member 2 just said. I'd like your response to what she just said. She said that she had already finished checking the illustrations when the notes came out, and there's just one more thing that she was going to do on the notes. What's your response to that?
Member 1: She wasn't really, because she still talked. She should really have stopped.
Sheila: Right, your mind was still on the illustrations.
Member 3: And, I just felt that it was interfering with the reading of the notes, the meditation before reading the notes.
Sheila: No, you see, that's it, Member 3 just used the word meditation. It's a meditation. And I've also asked you really when we come in here in the morning that you should come in with a spiritual mind. So, if you're concentrating on proofreading, you're not in the spiritual mind. Even if you said, for you and for Member 1, you're in the wrong mind. So, the reading of the notes is there to help you to get into the right mind, but it's essential that your personality agrees, and your personality cannot agree until she understands. And, I know that I've told you this many, many, many times, so apparently you don't understand yet. I hope today is the day that you understand. That we don't want to be sitting in this meeting with the carnal mind. We want the Mind of Christ ascended in us, and especially the three of you, you come out of carnal family lives. So, me, I've been studying, I'm already in the Mind of Christ, but you come in, you've just left your husband and your children and all the problems of your personal lives and it's important that you are prepared for this study. But, if your personality makes a choice to concentrate on the carnal things, okay, two things have happened here; you've preferred the carnal mind over Christ. Because at the beginning of a meeting, the Lord is prepared to speak to us, man to man, so to speak. The Mind of Christ took the nature of the Mind of Christ in you, and if you prefer, and that's what you did, Member 2, you preferred to deal with the illustrations, you preferred the carnal mind over the Doctrine of Christ. I'm not sure, tell me if I'm wrong. You came in and you gave Member 2 the illustrations?
Member 1: It was my fault, I should have waited for after the meeting.
Sheila: No no, it's not your fault. To Member 2: Just because Member 1 gave you the illustrations, that didn't mean this is not the time to read corrections. Even if you were waiting while Member 1 photocopied the notes, you should have been in prayer, meditation, not doing carnal things. Because the whole point is to get you into the Mind of Christ as deeply as you can possibly get in. So, this was not the time to even make the corrections.
Member 2: See, I thought it was just, make the corrections, pass it on.
Sheila: Well, if you want to do it after the meeting... see, personally, if it were me, I just want you to hear what I feel as an example to you. If it were me, I wouldn't even want to do it after the meeting because I want the glow of the anointing to last on me as long as possible. But, if you would want to do it after the, after I've told everybody here, if you choose, and I'm not against anything you do, okay, if you choose to get into something carnal after the meeting, that's fine with me, I'll usually withdraw to my bedroom anyway, but I want to be under this anointing as long as I can. But I am asking you to not do it before the meeting because if your minds are not prepared, it is a hindrance to my preaching. As I've explained many times, Christ Jesus manifests in our meetings and it's a body ministry and He requires Christ ascended in all of you to do what He's planning to do, so on that basis, for the sake of Christ, I ask you not to do these things before the meetings. But, if you choose to give up the anointing after the meeting, that is your decision. I would never say a word to you. But, I'm going to say it again, I feel I have to say it again, the work that Christ Jesus does to preach here, to make these tapes, it is a body ministry, and He is here to draw forth Christ in all of you, to bring forth one collective manifestation of Christ Jesus, to do what He intends to do today, and I can remember at least three times that I've explained this to you, but that's okay, I'll tell you again. I'm just pointing it out to you that I've told you many times, that you should understand that you've got a resistance against this word. I'm not in any way criticizing you. That as soon as your mind pulls away from the collective body of Christ, the collective body of Christ in this meeting is not what the Lord wants it to be. So, I hope today that I can convince you how important your attention to the Doctrine of Christ is at the time that the Lord is preaching. So, I know the tendency is to think that the carnal mind is probably saying, look, I mean, Sheila's in there studying and they're doing the notes, and what's the big deal? The big deal is from the minute everybody walks into this house, if not before, the Lord is already drawing everybody up into this collective cloud that sits over the meeting, and if you're concentrating on a carnal thing, the collective cloud is not what it's supposed to be. So, even if you don't understand it, I think at least today now I've gotten through to you that you understand the principle of it, and the large part of your problem is the problem everybody has here, that you can't believe how important you are. See? Your carnal mind doesn't want you to believe how important your contribution to the preaching is here, and how important your contribution is to whatever the Lord is doing here today. So, when you come in for a meeting, if it's Sunday or if it's Thursday, the work that's done with the carnal mind should be put aside. You know, does anyone know what that is the definition of? Put away the work of the carnal mind, does anyone know what that's the definition of?
Member 2: Put it down, I guess.
Sheila: It's the definition of the Sabbath. And on the seventh day, you shall rest from your labor, from the activities of your carnal mind. So, every time we gather together and Christ Jesus tends to manifests, whether we're alone or we're collective, we're ? So, if Christ Jesus has set a pattern here, that we're in the Sabbath day for these three meetings a week, and someone comes in and they're using their carnal mind, the Lord, now, this is straight from the Lord, okay? He's telling me to tell you, that you are sitting in this meeting without a proper garment. For you to be thinking with your carnal mind, your Christ mind has to be down under. So, your carnal mind is up, you're unclothed, you're naked.
Member 2: I found this very, very amusing. Because the Lord just told me that this next fairy tale thing had to be about the Emperor who didn't have any clothes.
Sheila: I think you know, these fairy tales that the Lord has you do, I'm sure you realize that there are also messages in them for you.
Member 2: Oh yes. Sheila: And that you're unclothed a lot of the time, Member 2, and I believe the reason you're unclothed so much of the time is that you're lacking this understanding that's coming forth this morning. It's very important, but there is a difference between what you do in your carnal mind and what you do in Christ, and that the Lord wants to lead you, see. Here's another very important principle here, that the Lord wants to control your mind, and there's no way the Lord was telling me to check those illustrations. So, what does that mean? It means that on this high spiritual level, you were in rebellion. Can you hear it? He wants to be the controller of your life, so the question you have to ask now is, how come since you love the Lord so much, and you're here anyway on a Sunday morning, how come you were doing something that He didn't want you to do today?
Member 2: I'm trained to seize the moment to make every moment count. Like, if you're on an online meeting, I make certain I check my email to make certain you have any direction for it. I usually try to check my email just for your messages on Sunday morning so that I know that I'm prepared to do whatever has to be done. To me, that's flowing with the Spirit, I thought with my carnal mind, I guess. I thought I was following the Spirit, I was seizing the moment and doing what had to be done to make everything move smoothly.
Sheila: I know that we've talked about this before, and the Lord's bringing it up again. This is your carnal mind's perception of flowing with the Spirit, and the Lord wants to break this. See, this is so hard for us to understand, cause we're all independent, competent people and He wants now to show us to be competent in His strength. So, there has to be a letting go, at least to some degree, if not a large degree, of letting go of the way we've done things in the past. And, this is what happened this morning, that you came in and you thought you were following the Spirit, but it was your carnal mind's perception of moving in the Spirit.
Member 2: So, can we set down a game plan, Member 1 and I, so that, I don't like the idea of risking taking your drawings home. I don't like the idea of doing that, but if you give me the drawings on Sunday, I can check them in my car and bring them in that night. Is that acceptable to everybody? And that doesn't interfere with anything. Okay, acceptable?
Member 2: This way I have them right in my car, I don't have to risk anything happening at home. So, that's how I'll handle my part.
Sheila: That would be fine, no problem at all. So, everyone, the major lesson of this discussion is that, when we gather collectively, the most important thing to the Lord is the perfecting of the collective anointing because the stronger we get in this collective anointing, the greater things he can do. Every one of us is essential to do the great things that He does here. So, if you really can't believe how important you are in this aspect, then it's just pride. Your attention to what He is doing here, in meeting times, is essentially important and top priority, people, and the message that's coming forth when we're here for meetings is always the top priority. The message that's coming forth is top priority, and the only thing that the Lord, from what I can see, that the Lord will do to interfere with this is to stop for a teaching like this because the teaching is necessary for you to give your full attention. But, His goal is to bring forth the fullness of the Doctrine of Christ. I don't even know what that is. But, I believe that when the fullness of the Doctrine of Christ is preached here, that it's going to have an effect on us and the whole world. A spiritual effect. We're waiting for this ascension into the brow energy center so that we can defeat Leviathan and Satan's plan, look at what's happening to our country. The rest of the world was always in darkness, but right now our ministry is to Christendom. Christendom is being brought down. And that is the most important part of our assignment. And, just to put in an extreme to help you understand, see, I don't really see that there's any choice here, it was just some wrong thinking on Member 2's part. But, if it were true that if you didn't do it today, the illustrations would be lost forever. Still, the most important thing would be the anointing that's here this morning to find out what the Lord wants to perform, what the Lord wants to do.
Member 2: Who's in charge, right?
Sheila: Right. Okay. Now, you, I'm really tired of you taking all this, making all these excuses and taking all this blame, you've just gotta stop this stuff, Member 1. Right up there repenting when it's not, when you didn't even do anything wrong, just to, your whole spirit is just wrong.
Member 1: I felt it was my responsibility because I told her that you wanted to do something with it.
Sheila: Don't justify, I don't want to hear justification, I don't want to hear your justification. You have to stop this stuff.
Member 1: Okay, right.
Sheila: First of all, you were defending her, okay?
Member 1: I felt guilty that she was talking in response to what I did.
Sheila: I'm mad at you, Member 1. Is guilt in Christ Jesus?
Member 1: No.
Sheila: Well, when are you going to give this stuff up?
Member 1: That's true, yeah.
Sheila: I'm tired of your being guilty, I'm tired of your taking the blame when you didn't do it, I'm tired of you making excuses, and I want to see a son of God in you. And, I think the Lord's mad at you.
Member 1: Okay.
Member 2: I see one good point, you're making the ? (can't make out rest of comment)
Sheila: Okay, now next point. Please correct me if I'm wrong because I just came out in the middle of it. I saw Member 2 talking to you and you sitting there and accepting whatever it was she was saying to you. Is that correct, did you not tell her, Member 2 this isn't the right time.
Member 1: It was my fault. Yes, I took what she was taking because I forgot what you had said, that she's not supposed to tell me something.
Sheila: You didn't forget what I said, you were not strong enough to rise up and do what you were supposed to do.
Member 1: Oh, all right.
Member 2: She did tell me.
Sheila: She did tell you?
Member 2: Oh yes.
Sheila: So, you did know. Now, did you know or didn't you know?
Member 1: I guess at one point I knew.
Sheila: So, you did know. Member 1, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but one of the major issues we're dealing with right now, is that you lie, and this is a big thing for you because all your life you really thought you lived a righteous life, and you didn't really understand what lies were and a major thing that the Lord is dealing with now is, I'm telling you, you lie all the time. And you have to see it. You just lied, Member 1.
Member 1: You know, I can't see it that it's lying, and the Lord's going to have to deal with me so that I can really see that it's a lie.
Sheila: Okay, I'm going to keep you, I mean, that's a hard thing to say to somebody in front of other people, so, I'm trying to soften it as much as I can, but you just lied. Because this is what you said to me. I said, Member 1, you should have told Member 2, that you shouldn't have listened to her. You should have said to her, Member 2, this isn't the time. And you said to me, I didn't remember that was what I was supposed to do. Then Member 2 said, she did tell me. So, which is the truth? Did you not know that is what you were supposed to do or did you do it, you told her, but you weren't strong enough to stand against her when she continued.
Member 1: I guess that's what it is.
Sheila: But you just lied.
Member 1: All right, I'm going to confess it as lying. I'm not thinking of these things as lying. I'm confessing this, I'm going to confess it so I can see it.
Sheila: No, no, this is something that you should be able to see. This is not something that I'm saying, Member 1, I have a discernment and I see bitterness in your heart, and you're saying, well, I can't see it, but I'll pray about it. No, no no no. You just said to me, we have two witnesses. That you said to me I didn't know that I was supposed to do that. And then Member 2 rose up and said that she did do it. So, you did know.
Member 1: I guess I did know but I'm so used to getting blamed for everything.
Sheila: Justification, justification, justification. You just lied.
Member 1: Okay, I can see that. I lied just to make the other person happy or something? I don't know.
Sheila: Yes, yes, yes you lied, Member 1, tell me this, please believe me, I don't want to hurt you, I'm trying to help you. You lie continuously. You say whatever needs to be said to make peace in the situation and you switch and turn, and, Member 1, again, I'm not trying to hurt you.
Member 1: I want to see it.
Sheila: I have seen you in the spirit, like a serpent just going like this, just saying anything that needs to be said to get you out of the confrontation at the moment. I'm telling you the truth.
Member 1: Lord, help me on that, I repent of that.
Member 2: Could I just clarify something?
Member 2: She really did come out with the papers and say, this is not the time. She stood her ground, but I was already finished, so I was the one who went with like this up and handed it to her because to me it was just a natural...
Sheila: Okay, well, we're talking about two different things and I would really encourage both of you to not try to defend each other because this is not a court martial. This is a meeting of the Sons of God to help you see your own sins and it's not that I'm sitting here blaming somebody or going to punish somebody, so it's very offensive to me, personally, my pride, of course, it's offensive to me personally when I'm trying to bring a correction and someone's defending the other person because it makes me the task master. See? Do you understand my point? It makes me, that you're both afraid of me trying to defend each other in front of me, that really is really distressing to me.
Member 1: Yeah, I see that.
Member 2: You know, the fact is, I did override her.
Sheila: Okay. Now, everything's the spirit. If you want to tell the truth, that's okay. If you want to say, look, I have to tell the truth, this is what happen, I did override her, but, no no, not to say you did override her because it doesn't matter that you overrode her. It's her responsibility to override you. So, if you want to say for yourself, if you want to make it as your own confession, then that would be witchcraft, actually it would be Jezebel, well, it would be witchcraft if you want to say, wow, she told me and I overrode her, that's sin, I repent. That's okay. But that's not what you did. You were defending her and justifying her and said, well, she tried but I overrode her. But that's no excuse. She's still responsible to say, not now, Member 2. So, there's a difference in the spirit with what you said. Do you understand what I said? So, you really did rise up to defend her and the two of you are defending each other, and I'm manifesting pride, that really offends me very much.
Member 1: At that point when I had told Member 2 and she continued to do it, that's when I should have said, Member 2, not now, I don't want to hear it?
Sheila: Yes, say, Member 2, not now. Even not now, say, Member 2, this is wrong. This is not the time and if Sheila comes out there's going to be a rebuke, it's wrong.
Member 1: Cause I kept saying, oh wow, we're going to get it cause she's going on doing whatever.
Sheila: Well, you said it to yourself.
Member 1: Yes.
Sheila: Well, when are you going to start opening, when are you going to stop being a scared rabbit? You're out of time, Member 1. Again, I'm not trying to hurt you, you're a total doormat. You just bow down for anybody, or almost anybody, okay? And, you'll just say whatever needs to be said. You squirm and you twist and you turn and you won't have the confrontation, and it's got to stop because God has great things for you.
Member 1: I'm glad you're pointing this more and more because I'd wasn't really seeing these as lying and I'm glad to see it because I thought lies were out and out, you know, really determining to lie, but this is horrible.
Sheila: Yeah, but you want to know something, Member 1, that this pattern that your personality, it really is a determination to lie but you never understood it.
Member 1: Really, huh?
Sheila: Yeah, and your determination is to not be in a conflict that you do not want to be in.
Member 1: Well, that's true.
Sheila: Your carnal mind is saying... if I said to you, Member 1, did you steal my fork? And you're going to say (let's say you stole my fork), and I say, Member 1, did you steal my fork? And you say, oh no. I mean, that's what you think a lie is.
Member 1: Right, right.
Sheila: So, if somebody lies like that, their motive is to protect themselves from the truth that they stole the fork, and that's easy to understand. But when you lie, your motive is the same thing, your truth is, your lie is to protect yourself, not from stealing a fork, which is wrong, but to protect yourself from having a confrontation which you are hiding from, which is...
Member 1: Yes, when you're bringing that out I can see it cause I hate fights, I hate arguments.
Sheila: But not at any price? I hate fights too, Member 1. And I hate arguments too, but not at any price. You're prostituting yourself.
Member 1: (Agrees) Father, right now I'm going to ask you for boldness when I'm approached with this. Let me see right then and there that my answers would be either truth or a lie.
Sheila: That's not the right prayer.
Member 1: No?
Sheila: That prayer would come later, the right prayer is, you have to confess this as sin and HATE this sin!
Member 1: I hate this sin, Father! It's deceiving, I don't want this, Father, I want to see it right then and there that it's a lie and not even go into it.
Sheila: And now you ask for boldness, but even that, even asking for boldness, Member 1, this is a deep wound in you. This is a deep character flaw. So, and even asking for boldness is not the right prayer. The right prayer is, Lord I am crippled in this area. I've been doing it all my life, I was even blind to it. Deliver me, deliver me from this character flaw. So, your prayers aren't even right, Member 1. But they're not, there's something lacking in the area of repentance. I think you confess it, but that repentance yet is not coming forth, you see.
Member 1: You know, Sheila, I can't understand. I wouldn't deliberately lie, my sister used to lie like anything, and I couldn't lie, and I couldn't see how she was lying. But I must have been doing something that I was so unaware of, because my mother said, who did this? And no one would answer to it, but if I did, if I would answer to it, I'd get the blame for everybody else who didn't do their part. And, I guess it's, I guess I like being, having this done to me. I don't know.
Sheila: Something's really wrong in your heart, Member 1.
Member 1: Something, that I could lie that quickly. Forgive me, Father.
Sheila: And, you know, you even told me that when no one would admit you, that you would admit it. Well, that's a lie too. If you didn't do the crime and you admit it, that's a lie too.
Member 1: Well, we weren't going to have supper or we weren't going to have whatever it was and I figured, well, I'd just do this to make peace, so it was a lie.
Sheila: But, again, you priced it, prostitution, spiritual prostitution.
Member 1: Wow. Sheila: Did you know who did it? In those instances when you were lying that you did it, did you know who did it?
Member 1: Sometimes.
Sheila: So, you would rather take the blame yourself, then tell (well, I don't know that that's so bad) then tell who did it so that you could eat.
Member 1: Or whatever it would be, you know.
Sheila: So, the bottom line was that you didn't want to pay the price, you did whatever you had to do to not pay the price.
Member 1: I paid the price.
Sheila: I guess I said it wrong. You did whatever you had to do to not suffer the consequences of not having supper or whatever or,
Member 1: Or, everybody else, so xxxx could have peace or whatever.
Sheila: Well, what about all the others? What was their attitudes?
Member 1: The others didn't know but the one knew.
Sheila: I guess that wasn't a good train, I'm going to drop that, I wasn't in the right track. So, well, this is a great day if you're seeing how you lie. It's taking me years to be able to pin you on this thing.
Member 1: I could never, when you said I'm a liar, it was so offensive to me, cause I'm just thinking to myself, gee, I grew up my whole life not really deliberately wanting to lie. I would come out and tell everybody, blurt it out. I see it now.
Sheila: Here's the key, the word deliberately. Your mind is justifying the lies, and you're separating your lies into carnally venial lies, okay? Either you lied deliberately or you didn't lie deliberately. But, it's still a lie.
Member 1: I want to be seeing every single lie, Lord, I want to see every one of them.
Sheila: And, this kind of lying that you do, it has another name to it, it's really called manipulation, and what it does is it breaks up, we were talking about this the other day, it brings up this cloud of confusion, and it throws confusion over everybody that's honestly trying to understand what's going on at the moment and kills any possibility of healthy communication, and it destroys relationships, and if you do something like this around weak minded people or around children, it could really think they're crazy. Well, one minute she said one thing, and the next minute she's swearing that she didn't say it. It has a devastating effect on children. And any kind of weak minded person, it could make them mentally ill. If they can't, I know, I've told you all, I was in therapy for about six months. I had a lot of problems with my parents, and I remember the psychiatrist saying to me, you're so (I'm putting this in my own words), you are so confused from the problems in your family that if they told you that the moon was black, you would believe it. They had me completely brainwashed. Did they deliberately want to hurt me? No, there was sickness in my family and it made me mentally ill, briefly. It made me mentally ill that they had such confusion on my mind that I couldn't, I mean, they're telling me that this pink flower is green, and I'm sitting there saying ? If that just goes on long enough, you don't even, you can't even tell what's pink and what's green.
Member 1: So, without me knowing it, my kids are all mental. Oh gosh, that's rough.
Sheila: I don't know about that. It had to affect them, but you weren't the only one, they had your husband living there too. I mean, your kids seem okay to me. They're all married, they're all working, they're all raising families, they all have businesses. So, you thank God there's two parents, you know.
Member 1: So, another words, I would make them mental and he could take them away from that part, right? Is that what you're trying to say?
Sheila: No, it's a balance. The children are affected by the two parents and I have told you, I've read in a psychiatric journal and I really believe it, that because of the natural law of the father in the physical family, the mother could be as mentally ill as could be, and if their father is stable, in any area, I can't tell you in exactly what areas, if the father's stable in the right areas, the children will grow up okay. The mother can be as stable can be, but if the father's mentally ill, or really off, the children are all messed up. The father is essential. Because he has the physical authority over the family, actually it's the spiritual authority. He has the spiritual authority over the physical family. So, your husband had to be doing something right.
Member 1: Absolutely.
Sheila: He has to be stable enough in some ways, nobody's perfect, everybody in this world has problems, God only knows all of us are all messed up, only some of us more than others, you know. But your kids are all married, they're all raising families, they're earning a living, they're independent, they're financially independent.
Member 2: So, it's not the hand that rocks the cradle that makes small children so messed up (chuckle), like the world tells us?
Sheila: Oh, I never heard that before. I think it's a combination, but we all have to be very careful not to have guilt when we have these conversations, you know. But, it's the combination of the husband and wife, but if the father is exercising a true spiritual authority in the family, it's something that affects the child when they see that authority in the family, it has an affect on them that helps them to mature properly. Even if the male is off. I mean, I say the same thing about your children, they're all married, I know that you know xxxx has a lot of problems, I know xxxx has a lot of problems, xxxx has a lot of problems, you know... but, all three of these men, all of your husbands here, are exercising the male authority that is their God given right, and all of your families are okay. Okay? In xxxx's family, xxxx's father did not exercise his God-given authority, he was like an absentee father, so what are we talking about? An over authoritative father as compared to, in the psychiatrist's community, calls him an absentee father. Does his body live here? He never talked to xxxx, xxxx never saw him exercise any kind of a Godly authority over the household or over the family and every time he tried, xxxx killed him. xxxx's mother was the titular head of this family.
Member 2: What does that word mean?
Sheila: The head, the top. The top head. So, it's a spiritual principle that when there is a rebellion against authority, it is devastating to the one who rebels and everyone under them. Devastating, rebellion is devastating. Today, even in the church, they really just don't understand how serious it is. It's a spiritual principle, it's a, the law of sowing and reaping is implemented in this area. No matter how aggressive that man is, I'm not talking about a man that beats you or anything like that, I'm not talking about that, you know. No matter how aggressive that man is or how wrong he is in some areas, if his basic heart is towards his family, which I can say for all three of your husbands, the kids at least they grow up functioning. They grow up functioning. It's a spiritual law of the natural family. Now, this isn't true of families where the woman is widowed, you see. If the man legitimately dies, then the woman's not in rebellion and if she does her best to bring up the kid, the child has every chance to be okay, especially if there's a grandfather or uncle around them. But if the woman is divorced and it wasn't a legitimate divorce, then she's in rebellion and the children are all messed up, and that's what's happening all over the country today. So, you know, you look at these physical law with spiritual eyes, for example, years ago, it's not true anymore, you really needed a legitimate reason to divorce somebody, if you're a woman. You really needed a legitimate reason to divorce your husband and if you went to the courts, there was actually a time where, you know, you could petition the courts for a divorce and they would turn you down. You could spend all that money on a lawyer and the church wouldn't grant you a divorce. It's not just the Catholic church that did that, no, not that longer than fifty years ago in this state, there was no guarantee that you would get a divorce, see. And you hear the carnal mind talking through all of the married people that want divorces, saying, now isn't that ridiculous, what right does the state have to exercise authority over me? Well, that right was written into the government based on a spiritual book because our whole nation is based on the Bible, that if you're a woman and you depart from that man and it's not a legitimate reason, all of your children under you are going down. And, what's happened in this country is that people have forgotten the spiritual implications of the law. And they're looking at the carnal law and their carnal mind is saying, that's ridiculous. I don't love him, I'm not happen with him, he reads his newspaper on Sunday, he watches the ball game instead of talking to me, and I'm very unhappy and I want a divorce. Will you get a divorce for that? I'm not saying what he's doing is right, or that he's treating you right, I'm not saying any such thing, but if you get a divorce for that reason, you and all of your children under you are compromised, and what you're supposed to do is turn to the Lord and say, Lord, my needs are not being met, I'm giving my whole life to this man and this family and I'm dying with loneliness and you're supposed to believe God to turn him around, either turn him around or maybe sometime return to God, but the Lord must satisfy you, you see. All of this spiritual wisdom is like been blotted out of our nation, you don't even hear it in the churches. Nobody knows this stuff, well, if you don't know this stuff, you're not happy with him, go get someone else.
Member 2: I remember years ago when my children were starting to be teenagers and xxxx was working with two jobs, actually, that was a job in itself, I'd drive him back and forth all the hours it took, and I was crying out to the Lord, I can't raise these children by myself, I need some help. You really can't do it yourself.
Sheila: Even when they're working all of those hours, their presence is in the house, if the man is exercising a Godly authority over those children and over that household, even if he's gone for six months, let's say he's in the Army, I know an Army family and he goes away for six months at a time, the Spirit is in the house, there's a head of this household. Your father's away at sea, but he's the head of this family, and when he comes back, he's going to find us, he's going to expect to find us in right order, it will sustain the whole family.
Member 2: It's about a ? long distance and I think about the Lord sometimes ? telephone lines for the Lord, but xxxx used to have a CB in his car and he'd be in contact with, like the scanner in Suffolk County, and if anything was going on, he'd get on the phone and call. And one time one of my sons were doing something and it was picked up and he said, how'd you know that, dad? It was that kind of a... what I'm really saying I guess is that the mindset was to them, they had that ? that he was for them, you know. He was working, he wasn't there, but his spirit was there.
Sheila: Sure it was there. And you were his eyes and whoever else God wanted to make his eyes. It's like, when I talk about things like this, I have to rebuke myself and call myself and call myself down because I start getting indignant and indignation is a manifestation of pride, you know, and I start saying, what is wrong? What's wrong with them is that they've turned away from God and what's wrong with this country is that the pastors have turned off from God. Where do you hear this kind of teaching today? See, this is a nation that was established under God, to me, when I hear the words "under God", to me that means under the Spirit of God. That means we're supposed to be a spiritual nation. God's law for the children and the spiritual understanding of it for the adults. But somehow we've lost it. I don't even know that the spiritual understanding is wisdom, this is what wisdom was here before this attack on our nation which began with the teaching of evolution, I don't know if that's in fact how this began, but I think even at that point, the nation was largely devoid of wisdom and was under the law, the nation was under the law, but you didn't even hear this kind of wisdom coming out in the pulpits at that time. I don't think so, I was really very young at that time, ? I think it happened in the 1800's, I wasn't alive. Did it happen in the 1800's? No, the early 1900's. But I guess I was alive, but I was very young. So, you just don't hear... this kind of wisdom is the ability, imparts the ability to people to obey the law. What does, what blind obedience, which you tend, that's why I rebuke you so often, you tend toward that blind obedience by law. God doesn't want that for you. He wants us to understand the wisdom behind the law and agree with him, you see? The children, and I don't just mean physical children, whoever, physical child or physical adult with a mental disability, whoever you are, whoever cannot understand this wisdom is under the law. See? If you're a carnal minded person and you're a genius... let's say you're xxxx, now listen, that guy is a genius, he's the richest man in America, in the world, or whatever, he probably couldn't understand, well, I can't say that. Whoever is sitting at this table or can hear this tape, if you can really NOT understand what I'm saying, you can choose to resist me or reject what I'm saying, but if you cannot really understand what I'm saying, you are a spiritual child and you are under the law, and that means you're under the reaping and sowing judgment. But every person that has the ability to understand this kind of wisdom, the Lord wants you to understand it, he doesn't want you under the law. He doesn't want you to be a child. Everyone who's under the law is a child. And, we're all under the law in some area, if we weren't we would be ascended, you know. So, we're all under the law in some area and in those areas we are children and we're supposed to be in the process of growing up in every area that we're under the law. What does that mean? That we're supposed to have our face before the Lord continuously in any given area, and Lord help me if I'm messing up. I want to do this, I don't want to be under the law. I want this righteousness to arise in you, I want it to be my state of being for you, and for it to be my state of being, I have to understand it. This not God's will that we should be a nation of robots or a nation of sheep, or a nation of children. That's a curse in the Old Testament, and Israel is cursed, the Scripture says, his leaders will be women and children. He wants us all to be grown men, physical men and physical women. He wants us to be grown spiritual men. He wants all of his people ascending into the brow energy center. I'm convinced the women of Israel were ascended as well as the men. Without a doubt in my mind, I mean, whoever was following God, that ascension was open to the physical women as well as to the physical men. The Lord doesn't want, this is the curse, it's the Serpent who made us children. It's the Serpent who put us down here in these physical bodies with these carnal minds. This is not God's will for us. So, it's very hard just to finish my thought, it's very hard to be a person who has all of this wisdom and look at all these people around me killing themselves, and look at my nation killing itself, they're electing, not only women, but prefer these women for presidents, I'm talking about spiritual women, for the leaders of our nation, it's very hard for me to do, but that's just pride, the Lord has taught me that that's indignation and that's pride, so I have to turn away from it and direct myself towards the work that the Lord has given me which is bringing forth the Doctrine of Christ and even making tapes like this for whoever the Lord would direct. That's my job, and if in the midst of this, he raises me up to pray a prayer for somebody, or sometimes he raises me up to pray a prayer for the nation, then that's when I pray. I may be producing this tape, so let me put this on. I'm not saying that people shouldn't intercede, if you're called to be an intercessor, you should intercede, but intercession, at least intercession that the church...
? and pray, possibly on your knees or with your eyes closed and just hold your hands up and praying, that is a manifestation of the Holy Spirit, that is not the intercession of Christ Jesus, but it's a fine intercession if that's where God uses it, if that's where you are, if you're an intercessor or if you feel called to intercede on any occasion, that's a fine, noble activity, but there is a higher manifestation of intercession than that, and that higher manifestation of intercession is simply, I've lived a large part of my life in Christ Jesus, only the Lord could give you a course on intercession, I'm not even sure myself, I just know it's not 100 percent, my intercession is, Lord please help him, and I go on with my business, and I continue in my labor in the Doctrine of Christ, and as Christ Jesus in me, the labor to bring forth the translation of the Doctrine of Christ is an activity of the Christ mind, but as I labor for God in my Christ mind, where wants to, since he's already manifested in me, he will stir up in me and bring forth a prayer that will be in response to my ?, and when Christ Jesus stirs up and prays the prayer, it's done. And when we intercede under the influence of the Holy Spirit, sometimes it's done and sometimes it's not, and if your cause is noble, I think you have to believe that the Lord will respond if your cause is noble, but I've heard of people interceding for thirty days or even more than that, but in Christ Jesus, you don't spend your time interceding, you spend your time laboring in the Doctrine of Christ. And then when Christ is ready, he will pray the prayer. A thirty second prayer, rarely longer, sometimes longer, but rarely longer, and it's done.
Member 2: So, actually to be ? it means that Christ is in you, He's already built up and you're prepared. Sort of like being in school and learning typewriting, it's already in your unconscious mind and it just comes out without any kind of labor.
Sheila: Without any labor, that's exactly true. And we see this principle in our electronic devices these days, I think they call it ready access. Our recording unit uses ready access, you can walk by it at any time and you see a little red light on, on our tape recorder, our tape deck that we're making tapes on, and that's ready access. That means that all you have to do is press the button and the tape is ready to go. There's no warming up, it doesn't have to warm up. But every electronic unit that doesn't have that instant access feature, you have to wait for it to warm up. So, if you're in your carnal mind, you have to get an imputed Christ stirred up, and you see, only Christ can do miracles. The carnal mind cannot do miracles. So, when you go into intercession with your carnal mind and you fast and you pray, it could take you thirty days to stir up an imputed Christ in you, a manifestation, it could take thirty days for all these prayers of your carnal mind for Christ to form in you, the One who has the power to what you're asking Him to do. But if you're already in Christ, if you're working on translations, if you're bringing forth the Doctrine of Christ, whatever you're doing, if it's in the Christ mind, you're right there. So, all that you say is Lord help him, and then Christ stirs up and He does it. And, even if it takes Him thirty days to answer your prayer, you haven't spent thirty days in intercession, you spent thirty days doing other activities. So look, what am I saying? I feel I haven't really explained it well, and let me try again. The activities that are of the carnal mind under the influence of the Holy Spirit are largely directed to stirring up an imputed or a temporary manifestation of Christ Jesus, the One who has the power to do miracles. See, Jesus said, if you have this small, this humble seed, you can cast that mountain into the sea, but if you at all ? in the King's James Translation, that's a humble seed, that's Christ Jesus in you. We're not the humble seed, and the Holy Spirit's not the humble seed. So it's Christ Jesus, He is the humble seed, you see? He is the seed that has the power to do the miracles. The whole question is, how are we going to access Christ Jesus so that he can answer our prayer? I have an example for you, hope it doesn't offend any of the Catholics here because I don't believe that what I'm going to say is, this is the example the Lord gave me about that little girl that was seeing the visions of Lady of Fatima. She would go down, she would pray on her knees, oh Lady answer my prayer, and however long she would stay there, and these visions would appear before her. Well, I don't believe that was of God, that's why I said I don't offend the Catholics, but this is a carnal example, this is a physical example of what I'm trying to tell you. This happens in the spirit. We go before the Lord with our carnal minds (if you're still in your carnal mind), and we fast and we pray and we cry out, oh Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. And however long it takes, He appears, but He doesn't appear as a vision of a woman. His presence appears in the Spirit. And, just like the Lady of Fatima granted gifts to that little girl who was praying for her, when Christ Jesus does manifest in response to our crying out to Him, and the true word is invoking Him, calling Him forth, saying, please visit me, oh Lord, I need your help, when he does appear, He grants our wish. So, if you seeking Him in your carnal mind, it could take a long time for Him to appear. But, if you're in Christ Jesus anyway because you're employed by Him, and you're doing the work that He has assigned to you, you don't have to pray thirty days to have Him stirred up. So, if you're not in this condition where you behold His face continuously, well then, you do whatever you have to do, and you ask for ? anointing. You never stop with you're doing when you hear a message like this, you just keep on what you're doing until it's swallowed up into a greater expression of what you're thinking. We were saying that the two of you here knew that this conversation was wrong. We're back now to the beginning of the conversation and two of the three people here knew that this conversation was out of order and you were therefore responsible to cover your brother's sin by saying, no, you really cannot continue with this, this is a wrong conversation. And the one who was doing it, although the correction has come several times, I believe she really had not yet received the understanding of what I'm talking about. But you two who understood were responsible to rise up and cover her sin and you didn't, so the Lord brought me in there just at the split second so that I saw it and therefore I am covering the sin of all three of you, and if the Lord didn't bring me in to see it, you would all be subject to the sowing and reaping judgment in this area and I wouldn't even know what happened unless the Lord told me.
Member 3: Hmmm, I never looked at is covering our sins.
Sheila: Yeah, correction is the love of God because correction interferes with the satanic execution of the sowing and reaping judgment. That's why correction is the love of God, that's why God says, tell them, don't be afraid of their faces, even if they're mad at you or they don't respond properly, you must tell them so that they could never come back to God and say - well, you're under the sowing and reaping judgment, and crying - that they could never say, God, you're an unrighteous God. I serve you, Lord, I read my Bible every day, go to church, I serve you as best as I can, how can Satan be doing this to me? Because, in this one area, you didn't serve me and your brothers were right there and they never told you. Because when you tell somebody that they're doing something wrong, that person now has the choice of continuing on or stopping, and then if they continue on with the sin, God is righteous. And sometimes, you have to tell people more than once. I've been telling all of you, each in your own areas I've been telling you for years certain things. So, the fact that somebody resists you doesn't mean that you back down. Because, see, the typical manifestation of pride is if you tell someone they're doing something wrong, the typical manifestation of pride is to justify. You say, oh, but I didn't mean, it's not what you think, I'm just doing this. You'll have to come back at them again, you have to exercise in strength.
Member 3: When you're in the presence of just going on, is it necessary for me to say anything or is it, you know, your authority to take ?
Sheila: No, you should have said something. You had no authority to rise up and do what I did and say now, you really shouldn't be doing that now. You don't have any authority to do that, but as a brother in the congregation, you had to state the truth. You know, this is really wrong, you really shouldn't be doing this now. And, then, if the conversation would have continued, there really would have been nothing more that you could have done. Member 1 is in a different position because she was being drawn into the conversation, so you had a right to say, now Member 2, this is really wrong, we can discuss it later, but this is not the time, please, because you were being drawn into it, but Member 3, as an observer, could have just stated the law. But, I do have to tell you Member 3, that out of all three of you, I did notice at the beginning, a spirit of righteousness on you, that you really perceived that it was wrong, okay? I'm not saying Member 3 is good and anyone else is bad, what I'm saying is that a spirit of righteousness that recognized the infraction arose in Member 3. But, I didn't see it, well Member 1 didn't understand yet, and I didn't see it in Member 2, I didn't see any spirit of righteousness.
Member 2: I'm really in a quandary right now. Maybe because of the ? like that, I was always quick to write down a note of what I had to do, or I would handle something on the spot for fear of forgetting it, which was a very real thing that happened, but I see the Lord's using that and I didn't see it as a weakness. But, like, just coming here today, driving in the car, He gave me a line that I had to change on a paper. I will be just talking during my normal routine, and He'll give me a line and if I don't write it down right now ?, and I will go back and I will have a thought in my mind, but the words to make it flow like He gave it to me just doesn't come back.
Sheila: Me too, I have the same thing.
Member 2: It just doesn't come back. But I've got to do it now. So, I don't know whether, see, it's everything in me, I just jump on it, instant in season, thinking that was obedience.
Sheila: Well, that is obedience if the Lord gives you the word, you drop everything and write it down. Even if you get a word while I'm preaching, you write it down, but this wasn't the Lord, this was Member 1 that handed you a folder, and there was no chance of forgetting it, it was just the proofreading work, so it's not the same situation.
Member 2: I'm thinking that I do try to let anything around me just drop when the Lord comes in to do something, I give Him preference, first place. Sheila: What the Lord's dealing with you right now, Member 1, is your understanding. That, I perceive that you're utterly sold out to God and have a strong desire to do the right thing, and what we have to work on is your understanding because you get a lot of issues, there are a lot of issues that you just don't understand but we'll just talk about it until you understand it, because once you understand it, you're very strong, you go forth and you really make those changes. So, we've got to work on your personality. There's a weakness in your personality, probably dating back to your epilepsy and all of your past experiences. So, we'll just talk about it until you understand it. I've been preaching now for a couple of years how important it is that Cain is educated as well as Abel. And Cain is our, the flesh of our personality, you know. And, we need Cain to understand so that she can work with Abel instead of opposing him. Because Cain has always been stronger than Abel, right? She kills Abel all the time, so if Cain has the wrong understanding, now Cain is the dumb beast, it's the part of our spiritual ignorance, if Cain has the wrong understanding and she opposes the move of the Spirit, we go with Cain. She's stronger, it's as simple as that. And the only thing that's going to fix that, that ? in us is to educate Cain, so that Cain knows that she can make the choice. You see, Cain is connected to the fiery Serpent, Cain is interwoven with the fiery Serpent who's connected to Leviathan. So, Cain is completely a part of the Serpent's household, yet Cain has the potential to obey the Serpent that she's interwoven with, or obey Abel. She has that potential. So, by educating Cain and making sure that she understands her two choices, Cain has the ability to agree with Abel and then draw upon the whole strength of Christ Jesus' household. So, Cain must be educated to the point that she knows what her choices are. Now, you know that you can either face the consequences of the confrontation, and deal with it in a Godly manner, or continue to lie. Now that you understand this, you have the choice. So, that's what all this teaching is about, it's to educate Cain, the part of us that is the dumb animal, so that she can choose whose strength she will draw upon, the Serpent's household, or Christ Jesus' household. See, Cain is the flesh, is our spiritual flesh, she's the dumb animal and she has a spiritual mind, and her spiritual mind is Abel, and this animal part of her is stronger than the mind part of her. It's just another way of saying the water's stronger than the sea. The Lord presented this principle to us in several different ways, and all of this education is really towards Cain. Abel gets the Doctrine of Christ, and Cain gets all of this practical education so that she can follow Abel because Cain, you know, she's suffering. Cain has been down here dying from generation to generation, it's the ox that's dying from generation to generation. So, she wants to get out of here too. And, the only way she's going to get out of here is to cleave to Abel. So, she has to be instructed as to how to choose Abel over the thoughts of Satan which flow through Leviathan and the fiery Serpent. That's what all this is about. So, once again, when you rise up to defend yourself or to defend somebody else, you're completely undermining what Christ is trying to do, or for the other person, and it's a manifestation of pride, which is sin. It's been interesting, right? The Lord seems to be calling a lot of Jews in this hour, but the true call to the Jew is the Doctrine of Christ. The Jew that's called through the Jews to Jesus, or that kind of ministry, that is not the true call to the Jew, because the call that is coming through the female church, the church that's under the Holy Spirit, that's the bride, that's the female church. And the true Jew who has inherited the root of the Tree of Life is male, is spiritually male. So, the bride church cannot call the spiritual male, because whoever she calls, she enfolds into her ministry. So, every Jew that's being called today by the Jews for Jesus, or that type ministry, is being enfolded into the bride, the female bride church, and the true Jew that has the root of the Tree of Life is the bridegroom. So, either the Jews that have been called, that have been absorbed into the female bride church today, either they're Jews that don't have the root of the Tree of Life, or they're Jews who have been absorbed into the bridegroom company, which is emasculating them and the bridegroom company is still very active, and the bridge company, Satan is very active in the bride company. The bride company is the church who are still in their carnal minds under the influence of the Holy Spirit. So, the church is still a manifestation of Satan, they are not expressing the nature of Christ Jesus. So, if the Jews that are absorbed into the female bride church do have the root of the Tree of Life, they've been emasculated in a false, as far as the Lord is concerned, a false conversion, because they're not women, they're men. So, the Doctrine of Christ is the call to the true Jew, and I'm not saying that these other people aren't true Jews, I didn't mean to put it that way. The call of the Doctrine of Christ is a call to the true bridegroom, or to the true male. Okay, I got it. The Doctrine of Christ is the true call, okay? The Doctrine of Christ is the true call to the Jew who has the root, the dead root, of the Tree of Life. So, if you are a Jew and you have the dead root of the Tree of Life and you've been absorbed into the female bride church, you need to repent and to come up into the bridegroom company, which you enter into by pursuing the Doctrine of Christ. So, the Lord is reaching out to Jews in this hour and He's reaching out to the Jews with a preponderance of spiritual energy which they have inherited, or He's also reaching out to the Jews that have the root of the Tree of Life, which is Abel. But I see in this hour, a lot of Jews have, a lot of them are very spiritual. To be honest with you, I don't know if they have the root and the energy, I don't understand why they have both compared to any of all the teaching that's come down here, you have one or the other, so the Lord's going to have to explain this to me. Lots of times as I talk questions rise up in my mind and now I have a question, and now He's going to have to answer it for me. For example, there's one person that He is pursuing, that the Lord told me he has the root of the Tree of Life, he's a very powerful person in the martial arts right now, so here is a Jew that has the root and the energy. The Lord's going to have to explain this to me and as soon as I get the explanation. Does anyone not understand the contradiction here? You understand the contradiction? That I've been preaching now one or the other and now I see a lot of people, a lot of Jews that He's calling, they have both, so He's going to have to explain that to me. Judging the sins of people, what it means is, with everybody that's in your company, we have to judge their carnal mind and say, I will receive this thought from that person and I will not receive that thought from this person. So, I don't believe Lot ever stood in the gate of a physical city, what that scripture is saying is that he stood in the gate of his own mind and he judged between the thoughts of Satan and the righteous thoughts of Christ Jesus. And because he was doing this, the next verse is, "and he looked up and he saw two angels." But he only saw the two angels because he was judging the thoughts of his own mind. So, your miracle is going to come from me strengthening you to do that, but you have to do it. And, you can't do it until you can see, your sight must be restored. You've got to see what's going on in your own heart. And I think it's harder for you than it is for most people because you've got this desire to be a righteous person. You've been in your church all of your life, you know, everybody is who they are, Member 1, whatever it means to you, I don't even know the details, but by the grace of God, you have got to overcome this, and you've got to start seeing the sin in your own heart so that you can say, no, you won't come in this door. And, I don't know if you recall or not, but in one of the exhortations that we did in the Serpent's Triangle, we did those scriptures, I think it was in 2nd Kings about Elisha and the King of Israel at the time, and I know I didn't do it word for word, I just did an exhortation on it, and it's not anything it sounds like in the King James Bible, but the King of Israel was saying to Elisha, I know that the temptation is coming, I know that Satan's going to appear at the door of my mind, and if he overtakes me, please fight for me and deliver me. Do you remember that? This is what it's all about, Member 1, so you've got to stand up and fight, by the grace of God, and this conversation is supposed to be imparting the power to you to do it. You've got to look, Member 1, you've got to look at it, it's ugly, but you've got to look at it. So, we all want to be standing at the gate judging the sins of the people, or judging the sins of the carnal mind, saying, no, you cannot come into this house, so that we can look up and see the two angels, which is the Lord Jesus and Christ Jesus in us. I've been preaching this is in other words for years now. You cannot see Christ until you first see Satan and Leviathan. You can't see Him. That's just the way it is, that's just the condition that we're in, it's the contrast, see? You have to see the sin. Okay, so let me see, did we cover everything now? So, it was like a triple whammy. You overrode the person who was supposed to help you because you resented her authority, and you would not acknowledge her authority, which is an attack upon her, to deny her authority is an attack upon her that I don't think she felt it, but if she were more spiritual, she would have felt the wound. Did you feel the wound?
Member 3: Yes.
Sheila: She felt the wound. I think you feel the wound and that you don't recognize it. She felt the wound. Okay, so now you're guilty of murder. See, that's the spirit of murder. Rebellion, flowing with rebellion is the spirit of murder. You rebel against the authority and then you want to bring it down. Did you want to say something?
Member 1: So, Lord I repent of the sin of murder and I ask Member 3 to forgive me of the sin of murder.
Sheila: Okay, now, remember, Member 1, that's good that you're doing this, but the main focus of this session is for you to see, okay, now don't put your concentration on feeling bad about what you did to Member 3, she's going to survive. We're trying to open your eyes. So, what you just did, or what was like a religious thing to do, that's not what we're doing here. I want you to see what you did.
Member 1: Each time I would ever do that, it's not just what I've thought, it's murder also.
Sheila: It's the spirit of murder. Now this is not to condemn you, if you're condemning...
Member 1: ? condemning, I'm not going to get better.
Sheila: Okay, if you're condemning yourself, it's just the same thing, you're still going to stay in the carnal mind. And also, we mentioned operating here is rejection, and I know that I've told you, I heard it on a recent tape, for years I couldn't understand why rejection would be a sin, but rejection justifies retaliation and hatred and murder and every evil work. So, if you're rejected, Member 1, because Member 3 is the office manager, or your supervisor, whatever word you want to use, okay? If you're rejected because of that, that's a lie in your mind because this has nothing to do, any assignment that anybody has has nothing to do with preferential treatment or with thinking that one is better than the other, but, we must all know what we can do and what we cannot do. Okay? And the most qualified person gets the job, and the person that needs help has to be under authority. So, in your case, Member 3 is more qualified, but you know that you make a lot of mistakes.
Member 1: That's right, I know.
Sheila: So, the healthy attitude toward, and I used to make a lot of careless mistakes, the healthy attitude is, Lord help me to concentrate, help me to go over my own work so that I don't have to be embarrassed by having my work given back to me, but you're taking your energy, conscious or otherwise, subconscious or otherwise, and directing your energy towards resistance. But, you're wasting your energy.
Member 1: Right, yeah.
Sheila: You have to take your energy, you could get less careless, I used to be very careless. You can change. But, you're misusing your energy. You're dealing with your problem in an unconstructive, I won't even say ungodly, if this were our session in a big corporation, they would tell you you're misusing your energy, you're wasting it, you're using it in an unproductive way. That's what they would tell you in your ?. Because, if you resent that someone's the authority, you know, or you resent that you make a lot of mistakes and maybe you think you'll never get this kind of responsibility, where is it going to get you? You're just pouring it into the toilet. If you take that energy and ask Jesus to make you the best that you could be, you'll get better. But even aside from that, it's just wrong thinking and it is childish. But, we all go through that sometime. What I'm trying to do, Member 1, is to strengthen you to do what you have to, because you have to do it. And this miracle that God promised you, you're not going to wake up one morning and be okay. The miracle is that He's going to give you the help and the strength to do it. Because He's told you you're crippled, and now He's told you that you're blind. So, His help is to give you sight, which is happening right now. Did you want to say something?
Member 1: Yes, this is very beneficial because every time I've done that tape, Gadara, the fourth one, I would come under such condemnation, I would weep and scream, Lord, I'm trying, but I got the feeling that I already had my miracle and Lord, I don't see results. So, this is making me understand it's not there. It's coming.
Sheila: And you have to do it.
Member 1: I understand that, I understand that my ? is coming, but now I have hope. It's been four weeks since you're gone, but there was nothing but condemnation, condemnation, condemnation that I should have had it. You already had it, God gave you the power, you should be doing it, I'm saying, how could I do it? Lord, I'm trying. I don't know how to do it. Please help me. So, this is, I'm understanding that it's going to come soon, all of this ministering to show me mistakes, it helps.
Sheila: Not your mistakes, this is a hidden sin of your heart. It's inside of you, it's Satan's activity inside of you and you must see, before you can walk, you must see. In this world, you could walk while you're still blind, but not in the Spirit. And you have to fight this condemnation, you've got such a ?
Member 1: Oh, Sheila, I couldn't help it because it was constantly said to me on the tape, every time I'd do it, I'd put it down for one week, I did it for three weeks every day, and it was just, I put it down, I did it again yesterday, and went into the same hysteria, and pulled the whole guilt again. And I said, Lord, you know I'm trying, I'm confessing, I did as many sins as I can think of, but now I see, I have hope, something's going to happen.
Sheila: Do you understand that this happens a lot? That you take something that's meant as a blessing and you turn it into ?
Member 1: Yeah, but I kept saying, Thank you, Lord, for the miracle, but Sheila said I already had it, and I don't see results.
Sheila: I said you already had it?
Member 1: You said, you were given the power, so walk in it. It was constant and...
Sheila: You start walking a step at a time.
Member 1: And I said, Lord, can it be that Satan ? make believe I have it? I didn't know how.
Sheila: Member 1, that didn't mean that you have it.
Member 1: That's the way I took it, I'm sorry, Sheila.
Sheila: Do you understand that you take a lot of things, you take more things wrong than you take right. That's there's such self-destruction in you, Member 1, that every time I try to help you, almost without exception, you make evil out of my good works. And, I'm sure you do it to everybody, not just me.
Member 1: I don't know, maybe I do, I have no idea of that, but I see from today's talk that I am going, something is going to change, but the way it was for the last four weeks, or five weeks now, it was just horrible. And, I mean, I'd end up just beat and I've been screaming out and praying.
Sheila: What kind of a change were you looking for?
Member 1: Well, the way I listened to the tape was that I already had it. I said, Lord, if I already have it, how come I can't even walk in that? I want to know what I'm supposed to be doing, but I can't, I don't know how to be where she said I should be. Sheila: So, you completely misunderstood.
Member 1: Because you said, You have it.
Sheila: You have the power, the power is in Christ. You have Christ Jesus. Right now you have to lay hold of Him and do what you must do.
Member 1: I can understand that in today's talk, but I couldn't get that out of the message. It was just destruction, it was horrible, Sheila.
Sheila: Well, Member 1, the only thing I can say to you, is that you would not have gone through four weeks of that if you had emailed me and asked me a question, so your pride doesn't even let you ask me questions.
Member 1: Right.
Sheila: You just suffer in your own little room, and then, Member 1, almost everything you do is wrong. You're that severely bound with pride.
Member 1: I didn't know if I could gain anything by writing, it was already told to me that I have the power.
Sheila: Well, don't you think, well, Member 1, I don't even want to ask you this question. What you should have done was written me an email and said, Sheila, you told me I have the power, but I don't see it. Well, of course, you've misunderstood ?, I would have explained it to you. So, your pride is destroying you.
Member 1: And, then in another part of the tape, you said, Tell everybody that you got the miracle and tell them all the sins that you did. I said, Lord, this is such a big, how can I go and tell everybody I've got a miracle when I don't see it.
Sheila: I said that to you and that was a part of the ? Member 1, you took the whole thing wrong.
Member 1: You were talking to me across the room.
Sheila: Member 1, not now, not at that moment. Don't you remember a couple of years ago a prophecy came forth that no troublemaker was going to penetrate into this house, that there was going to be fire around the house, and then some incident came up, maybe it was xxxx, because I know Member 3 was involved, I don't remember the incident, but you said, Oh no, that can't be cause there's fire around the house now. And I rebuked you then, and I said, Member 1, that was the prophecy, but it hasn't manifested yet. I have to do whatever I have to do to defend myself until it manifests. So, you have wrong thinking to an extreme. But, even more of a problem than that is that you don't, you cannot tell me that you can't learn. I don't believe it, I've seen signs of you being very smart, but there's a real bondage on your head, Member 1, that you don't learn from your experiences, see? And, when I correct you, you don't learn when I correct you. You're so stubborn, that you will not let go of your beliefs. Just like I told you Thursday night, that issue about, of not having demons, I know that I corrected you on that a year or two ago, and apparently it had no effect on you at all.
Member 1: No, I don't even remember it.
Sheila: You just believe what you what you want to believe, so this is stubbornness and idolatry, and you just have to keep breaking, you have to keep looking at it, Member 1, it's one thing to wake up in the morning and say, I rebuke stubbornness and I rebuke pride, and it's a whole different animal to say, that attitude that I had, that was stubbornness and pride.
Member 1: An incident.
Sheila: Yes, an incident, a particular incident, that was stubbornness and pride. Right. So, the most recent one is that you thinking that Christians don't have demons after you being such a demon-chaser, that mindboggles me, but that's another issue anyway. Okay, now I want you to hold, see, lots of times I talk to you about things and you say, well, I forgot, I forgot about it. You're not supposed to forget about it. You're supposed to remember, not in condemnation, but remember as a part of your computer database, of all of the experiences that you have had, so that you don't make the same mistake again. But your pride makes you forget it. And, Member 2, this happens to you too, you just forget these incidents. Well, if you forget the incident, then you forget the correction, and Satan has robbed you. Because we grow and mature, are defensed by experiences. So, if you don't remember the incident, Satan's robbed you of that. You went through the experience, you experienced the correction or whatever pain it caused you to be corrected, and then you forget the whole thing. Well, what was all of your pain for? So, there's bondage here that's not, it's not in the average person, it is a character disorder. I have to tell you that, it's a character disorder, see? So, this is what we'll do, you have to remember specific incidents, write it down, keep a journal and read it from time to time, I thought incorrectly. You need to know this, Member 1, when a prophecy comes to pass, you have to wait for it to manifest. We don't know how long, I don't believe this is going to be your case right now, but it could take twenty years for a prophecy to manifest.
Member 1: I see.
Sheila: Now, Member 1, I know that you know that. But, you don't know it for yourself. I know that you would know that for other people, but you don't know it for yourself.
Member 1: So, it's pride, right?
Sheila: I guess so. I know it's a bondage in your mind, that's all that I know, but, I really encourage you to keep a journal of everything that I personally teach you. Prophesies can manifest twenty years later. See, I had a similar experience to you. When the first group was started, and I had a lot of trouble with that group, and I was still on talking terms with xxxx so I would go into ? revivals a couple of times and xxxx was there one night, and he had his prayer line, everybody was lined up for a word or something, and my turn came and he had no word for me. This was so common, because of the authority on me, the Lord doesn't usually speak through other ministers, it's unusual. He can, but it's unusual for him to do it. So, I was so, I didn't even know what I had at the time, but I knew that that was my life then. It was very rare that anyone had a word for me. And, I was so, and he just prayed in tongues, he didn't have any word of knowledge for me at all, and I was so discouraged and I just sat down and was watching everyone else walk by and the Lord grabbed hold of him, it wasn't a word of knowledge, but it was prophetic, it was much more powerful than the spirit that was ministering to all the people passing by him, okay, and he turned around in great power, just spun around, and he said, You have everything that you need, you are fully furnished and equipped. And I didn't understand it. I said, look at all these problems that I have, what do you mean, I have everything that I need? But, everything that you need is in Christ Jesus. Now, you have to stand up and start walking a step at a time, a half a step at a time. So, I challenge you, I can't insist that you do it, but I encourage you to start making a record of things that I correct you on and read the book over frequently, because your mind blocks it out. So, you're going to have to make, I feel that you're really not making the effort. That's what I feel, if I'm wrong, the Lord will have to show me, but I am under an anointing right now, and that's what I feel, that you don't make the effort you're supposed to make. That you listen, and then you go home and forget all about it. Maybe you want to start writing it down and reading it over. Okay?
Member 1: No excuses, but when I get home, certain things that you'd say, I want to write em down, I can't even remember.
Sheila: You have to do it while you're here. Carry a pad with you, write it down right away, right now. Because your rebellion is so strong that it wipes it out by the time you get home, that you write it down immediately. And I hope that I've encourage you to understand how important it is. I feel that you just don't really take it seriously and you'll say, maybe this is just your surface reaction, I don't know, you'll say, oh, you know, and then you'll walk away, but it's just gone. It goes, it flies away. So, I feel that a lot of the time, not all of the time, but a lot of the time it's that manipulation, you know, you just, you give your Pharisaical thoughts, you're a nice lady, I very rarely, you know, you get mad when I tell you that, but my opinion of you, you're a nice lady, I almost never hear you, even when you get mad you don't raise your voice, so, you're gentle, but all of this other stuff is under the surface. So, that's your response, oh, oh, I'm so sorry, oh, I repent, oh, I'm so sorry I did that, yet two minutes later, or five minutes later, or the next day, you haven't benefited from the correction. You see? And, it's really, it's taken me a long time to be able to deal with you because I have to understand a person before I could deal right, and you and a lot of other people, they've got this bondage in their mind that because you are, you hardly almost never raise your voice and you're soft, and you're very quiet and all that, you know, that that's more important than these other things. That's really the attitude that I've seen you take over the years and it's a lie, it's one of Satan's lies, you see? So, every lie that is manifesting in your mind, we have to tear it down. That's a lie. It's a good thing to be nice to people, it's not good to be nasty and fighting with people, that's not a good thing. Okay, but, the fact that you have the victory in that area doesn't mean that you're okay. You've got all of this other stuff manifesting under the cover of many. Resentment and rebellion and envy and pride and murder and all that, manifesting underneath your demeanor, you know, your nice demeanor, therefore nice demeanor is a deficit to you.
Member 1: Right.
Sheila: See, and this is why the criminals, although they stand a better chance of coming into the Kingdom than the Pharisee, of course, they also reap what they sow in this life. So, it's two different laws, you know, you reap what you sow in this life, so the fact that your behavior is genteel is good for your life and for your health usually, and for your children and all that. But this hidden sin under the demeanor is keeping you out of the Kingdom because you have all of this trouble seeing the hidden sin. And not only that you have trouble seeing it, but that there's a part of me that doesn't really want to see it. But, the Lord has said that you have the power to do this, so it's one victory at a time. One day at a time, one minute at a time, one conflict at a time, and you have to fight the fight. And, there was something else I was going to say, and I stopped to say something else first and I forgot. But, I'll leave you with this now... that you should know that you're, a, oh, I know what I wanted to say. I wanted to remind you that all of (End of Tape)