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We're going to be talking about the deafness of the adder. I don't know whether this will be a whole message or not, but I know the Lord gave it to me in my heart. Because one of the things we run into here, and everything...., every problem that we run into here, it's throughout the whole world, it's throughout the whole world. Nobody's different, okay. Many, many people have these problems, and many people in this world have overcome these problems, okay. Every single human doesn't have it, but a large part of the society has it. We're talking about spiritual deafness now, a spiritual deafness that blocks communication and causes us to bring confusion in a crisis situation rather than to bring health. okay.
Now I just had a few words on my heart to speak to you all about this, and we had a whole....we had a situation this morning where one of the microphones wasn't working, and we had an opportunity to work together, and there were a couple of comments made that brought in confusion. Now I hope, through this message, not to criticize you but to help you to understand how you can help and how you can help productively. Most people want to help, but they don't know how to help. So they feel that if they say something, or if they do something, it makes them feel better, they feel that they helped, but since they really didn't know how to help, what they've done, the fact of what they've done, is cause confusion on the person who is qualified to solve the problem. Now I am not always qualified to solve the problem, I'm talking now about a situation that I have described in past years as changing spiritual sexual roles okay.
When you're in a group.... now this is a foundational principle of body ministry. Body ministry means that Christ Jesus is in control of the whole group, and he is bringing forth the person in the group that has the wherewithal or whomever he has chosen to give the wisdom to solve the problem, and it's up to everybody to recognize the leadership of Christ Jesus in that particular situation. Now when we come together on meeting nights, or on Sundays, it's easy because you know that I'm the teacher, that's easy, you see. I'm trying to help you to understand that I am not exercising a blind control here. In any area that I recognize that someone has more knowledge than me, I will turn the authority over to you instantly. I'm not looking to rule over anybody. It seems that in most of the instances I do, the wisdom is on me to solve the problem, but it doesn't have to be that way.
You see as this ministry grows it will be impossible for me to do everything, absolutely impossible for me to do everything, so I am more than willing to recognize when wisdom is upon somebody to do something, and appoint someone else rather than me, okay. And we did have one example of that when we were trying to organize the office now, and I asked xxxx and I asked xxxxxx what they thought or how they wanted a particular format, and both of you seem to be hesitant. You didn't.... you felt the decision was mine, you didn't want to make any decision, but I explained to you, that's your area, okay, you make the decision, I don't care whether it's on line one or line three, that's the area where you work, you have to be comfortable with what you do, and you're doing the actual work there, so probably you are more likely to have practical suggestions than me. It is like I asked you if you wanted a peel off label that's says book rate, or would you prefer to use the stamp, right. Now I'm going to.... and you said you prefer to use the stamp, I'm not going to insist that you use the peel off labels, see. And the only occasion on which I might interfere in something like this in a situation where it really should be your decision, is that if I really believe that what you're doing is not practical, but you're just afraid to try something new.
See now that happened with our fax program. I was having so much trouble with that fax program, it was really causing me such grief, and one tech at Gateway wanted to switch me over to Microsoft fax, and I didn't want to do it, I didn't want to do it. Why didn't I want to do it? I didn't want to learn something new, I was afraid it would be worse, I don't know why I didn't want to do it, I didn't want to do it. And then it took a whole year, another year later, our computer man whom we love came in and did it without asking me.
Now technically speaking he was out of order doing that, switching over our fax program without my agreement, but I'm so glad he did it, because in that situation he had wisdom that I didn't have, and I have not had one problem with my fax program since I switched to Microsoft fax. So when it comes to the computer, well he was still wrong in doing it, I hope you see my point. I'm not riding rough shod over you here, but it just seems at this time that in most of the situations the wisdom is on me, but that's God choice, that's not my choice. I will turn over the authority in any area that the Lord tells me to do it, okay.
Now what tends to happen in this group is that when there's a crisis, everyone is going in their own.... not even a crisis but a problem, something that needs to be solved, it's less likely that you follow my leadership than you do, and really all three of you at some time have gone off in your own direction.
Now I have an example in my mind for you, and that is our Star Trek crew. Number one, he's the assistant to the captain, he's in the highest office below the captain, and if you watch that program you'll see every time an emergency or a situation that requires immediate action arises, the captain gives one order and number one gives another order and it works. Why? Because number one knows the areas in which he has authority. Okay, now if the captain disagrees with number one's order and they've shown this over the series, he says belay that order and whoever the lower officer is that's carrying out number one's order, he has to obey the captain, but it's a blessing to see them work together. Your signal goes on, there's an emergency, it goes red alert, or whatever, captain says do this, and number one says that, because number one is in charge of certain things, you see.
But what happens here is that there doesn't seem to be any understanding of how we can work together and I find that everybody, it didn't happen with you today, but it has happened with you too, okay, that you're all trying to solve it by yourself and it just brings in confusion, see. So I want to assure you that I'm not trying in any way to put you down or make you lower or say your ideas are no good, okay, but we don't work together, something's wrong, okay. You can't be going on in your own direction when I'm in the middle of trying something, you see. I'm in the middle of trying something. So what has happened here? It's been happening over the years, and the Lord is just deciding to address it today, that the areas of authority are not clear.
In other words when someone here tries to solve the problem, they're doing it in a way that's hindering what I'm doing, it's not working together you see. Our efforts are not integrated, and there's misunderstanding. You see, like what happened with you just before, was that you heard.... the reason that I questioned you is because I knew that you heard me wrong, you heard one word. Okay now, you heard one word and you completely misunderstood what I said. It wasn't such anything terrible that you asked if the other microphones were on, that would not have hindered me at all, but the reason I questioned it, was because I knew that the reason you asked her was that you misunderstood what I said to xxxx. See, so we've got a communication problem here you see. You heard one word that I said to xxxx, and you drew a conclusion and you did what number one did except that you had the whole problem misjudged. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Okay, let me go into it more deeply. I had said to xxxx there was a hum there, and I found out what was wrong and I was explaining to xxxx where the hum was coming from, and I was telling that when you have that kind of a problem it's called troubleshooting, you see. When you solve problems enough, the next time the problem arises you know what to look for, right? That makes sense, okay.
So I say, xxxx, when you have a hum like that, what it means is that one of the channels is open here, and you thought I said microphone and you turned around and asked xxxxxx if her microphone was open, but I didn't say microphone, I said channel, you see. Now I'm mixing two issues here. There was nothing wrong with what you did, see. That would have been something, like I were sitting at the mixer and I said, and I said wow, there's an open source here you know, and I'm checking the channels and you went around and checked the microphones. That would be good thinking. Can you hear that? That would be good thinking. The reason I called you on this was because you didn't hear what I said, and very often you misunderstand what I say, okay. okay?
I want to make that very clear now. If I'm sitting at the mixer trying to find out what's wrong, it would be perfectly fine for someone to go around and check if any of the microphones were open. The reason I called xxxx on this was because her asking xxxxxx if the microphone was open was in direct response to what I said to xxxx you see. I had a direct communication with xxxx that you acted on. Can you see the difference? Xxxx can you see the difference?
Now the point is that at that moment, I was talking directly to xxxx, okay, and you responded and I wasn't talking to you. See, if it's a general situation, and we're all looking around trying to find out what's wrong with these microphones that would have really been fine if you would have just gone around checking, see. I may not be expressing this exactly right, but somehow it was.... how do I say this to her Lord? This was not a general search to find out what happened, it was a direct communication to xxxx, and you interjected in it, do you see the difference? Okay.
Does anybody not see the difference here? Okay, the mikes are one thing, if the power is on it is true that, that could cause a hum, okay, but the channels are those buttons by each one, two, three, four, five, on each one. You have a volume control on each of those channels, and one of them was turned all the way up, and that's what was making the noise, you see.
So I want to say it again, because I don't know if you all got it. The reason I said something to xxxx was because I knew that she heard one word that I said, but I wasn't talking to her. I was talking.... it was a specific communication with xxxx that if you wanted to listen to and learn from it, but you didn't learn from it, you heard one word that I said. What I said went right over your head, and you rose up and did something else okay, and that's the reason that I called you on it, because that basically was what I was going to talk about before we had the problem with the mixer, and that is a tendency that you have that you don't work together very well because you want to do it your own way. In other words I have a logical plan. Well. we'll do this and we'll do this and we'll do this, and you just go off and do your own thing.
So that was why I called you on it, because I know that was one of the things the Lord wanted me to deal with today. Okay, one of the things that anybody who wanted to could have done while we had this problem, was go around and checking the mikes and see if the mikes are on, that would have been a legitimate thing to do on your own okay, but something that happens here a lot is that while I have a plan in my mind and I'm testing or whatever I'm doing, someone will give me information that I don't need, that I didn't ask for and that almost invariably turns out to be inaccurate.
When you give me information that I didn't ask for, it almost invariably turns out to be inaccurate, and what it does is put a confusion on me. I'm engaged in a.... and this isn't just me, it must happen to you at home too. Look, it goes both ways, we do it to others, others do it to us, the problem is operating, everybody is doing it to everybody, and usually sooner or later you're at both ends of the stick. So if you can learn from what I'm telling you, and you can make whatever changes are necessary, then when it turns out that you're the one that everybody's putting confusion on, you will have a spiritual foundation for changing that situation in your own homes. Does anyone not know what I'm talking about? Okay.
Now I think when you offered your information about the mike, what you said had nothing to do with what I was doing. I had disconnected the cable, you see, and the cable that was connected to your mike was now connected, everything was misconnected. So for you telling me the mike was over there, all it did was put confusion on me you see, okay, and what's happening here, what's happening is that you're all, you're looking at me as I try and solve the problem, and instead of flowing with me, you're drawing your own conclusions about what I'm doing and offering help based one what's in your mind. And the truth of the situation is that what's in your mind is not what's in my mind and it's not what I'm doing, and we have a major communication block, and that's what the Lord wanted me to talk to you about this morning. And it really arose out of our session the other.... it was productive, you know, but he showed me a few things. I was over at xxxx's house and installing some software for her and trying to set her up so she could work on the database in her own home, and she was having some problems with her fax. I was trying set her fax up for her, and I guess the Lord's just ready to deal with this because I've known it for a long time that xxxx was down on the floor, and it was not a comfortable position, and I was trying to work with her to check out some areas and find out what the problem was, and I'm asking her a question, and she's giving me an answer that makes no sense at all, and I found out it's because she was not thinking what I was thinking. She was doing her own thing, you see.
So, hopefully, what our hope is, is to overcome these communication problems and to learn to work together and to become so grounded in this ability that when we see the situations arising in our families that we will be capable of dealing with them. Now you may not be able to be as open and honest with your family as I'm being with you, but I know this is the truth, that if you put this before God, what I'm telling you, and you make the changes, that in the areas that you're doing wrong, if you make changes in the areas that you're doing wrong, when these kinds of situations arise in your family, you will have the spiritual strength to really quiet the confusion. Once you take the victory in your own heart, you will be able to quiet the confusion at the other end, okay.
So the word in my heart this morning was the deaf adder, the deaf adder. Now we know that we're all serpents, that all of fallen humanity is the Serpent and this narcissism that we all have to some degree or another, when that narcissism gets thick it covers us like a veil, and we stay in our own little world and we stay with our own thoughts, you see.
And when.... now none of this is conscious, none of this is conscious, this is information that is going to help you break out of a jail that you're in. It's a spiritual jail that you're in, that you're deaf, that you don't hear what other people are saying, and you're not sensitive to what other people are thinking or feeling or what other people's needs are. You see, now being a spiritual person is simultaneous with being a sensitive person, okay, to be sensitive to someone's discomfort, okay, without the person having to go into a whole big deal and tell you that what you're doing is confusing them.
Now just for example when xxxxx stopped by to drop off the software for xxxx, you know I wanted to say "hi," you know, I saw he was at my door, and I could see by the look on his face that he was rushed and that he couldn't stop and talk, so I said okay xxxxx thank you and I let him go. Now people who have this curse on them, it's part of the curse of the fall of being deaf, would not have recognized that he was in a hurry, and then he would have had to say to them, well I'd really like to talk now but I have to go, and then in an extreme case the person who wanted to talk would have been offended saying he knocked on my door, he couldn't even stay five minutes and talk to me. There are people in this world like that, that would have been offended, and said he couldn't stay five minutes, but I don't know what kind of an emergency he had, apparently he's been very busy. I've emailed him, he hasn't answered any of my emails, but communication exists on many levels, it exists on the level that I started out this exhortation with, just understanding or just having a sense for the flow of the other person's spirit, and if you know what they're doing, if you can flow with them and understand what they're doing, then you could be a number one, and go out and do things that will assist that person or if you cannot sense what they're doing, you know enough to be quiet, okay.
But there's a spiritual deafness that stops us from doing this, and it's under the curse of the fool, it's under narcissism. We're in our own little world, it's an inability to see the headship at the moment, and I'm telling you again it does not have to be me, it does not have to be me, but what I find out here with all of you is that in the areas where the authority is on you, you don't recognize it, you see. It's nothing personal against me, you're just having trouble recognizing the authority even when it's on you. I've been talking to you about that for years that you don't know when you have authority, right, you know. Okay, so you don't see it when it's on me, and you don't see it when it's on yourself. So it's a deafness and a blindness which is spiritual, that the Lord wants to bring you out of, he wants to take that hood off of your head, that you don't.... it's easy when I'm sitting up here with the microphone that you know I have the authority, okay, but in the flow of everyday life, being a....one of the things that being a spiritual person means is to recognize who has the authority in every situation, okay, and how to assist that person and flow with them, and how if you have the authority and someone also thinks they have the authority, you have to learn how to deal with people like that, because the answer is not always to just give it up.
If it's authority that Jesus is requiring you to exercise, and you just turn it over to the other person because you don't want a conflict, well then you're not serving the Lord Jesus Christ, so what am I talking about? I'm talking about the ability to flow spiritually with other people, see. And a lot of people are deaf, spiritually deaf, and the Scripture says that if you're spiritually deaf, it's a curse that you cannot hear, you cannot hear from God and that you can be deaf in certain areas and not in other areas. I'm not telling you that you never hear from God, okay. What I'm talking about today is sensitivity towards other people okay, and the issue that I had in my mind before this whole thing started with the microphones....does anybody want to say anything about the microphones, anybody not understand what I'm saying? Cause it really happens here a lot, that you all want to help, okay, but you help in your own way instead of flowing with the spirit. Does anybody want to say anything about this? Okay, I want to pray for you and then we'll go on with the other issue.
Father in the name of Jesus, I just unplug these deaf ears Lord, and I break the curse of the deaf adder father, and I break all curses of pride that are associated here, and I just pray that you help these who truly would like to help, that you help them to learn how to help in a positive way, how to help in a way that will really assist instead of just looking like they're helping cause they're saying something, I pray that you take away the counterfeit, Lord, and that you give them the real thing, true sensitivity to themselves and to their fellow man and towards group activities, in the name of Jesus.
You see it all goes together, the ability to see your own sins, you see. If you're aware of your own feelings or if you understand what's going on in your own heart, you'll be sensitive to other people's feelings, although the tendency is for people who are deaf to be aware of their hurt, very aware of their hurt and offenses and very deaf to the offenses that they do or to the effect that they have on others.
You see, there's two different ways of being aware of yourself, when you're aware of your sins okay, then you're opening up spiritually, when you're aware of your sins and you'll probably.... you should be sensitive to other people, what they're feeling and what they're thinking. But when you're deaf and blind to your own sins, what usually goes with that is an over sensitivity towards the offense and the hurt that other people do to you. Okay what goes together, a deafness and insensitivity as to how, as to the effect that you have on other people goes together with an over sensitivity when people offend you.
I have on the board a chart which indicates certain experiences that people have and whether or not....now we're talking about spiritually deaf people, spiritually deaf people. The second column shows whether or not they're aware, and the column on the far right as I face the board is whether or not they're aware of how other people feel. Now number one, is hurt feelings. The spiritually deaf people are very aware of their own hurt feelings, they know when they've been hurt, but they're almost never aware of when they hurt others, because we're talking about an affliction, brethren, which is a blindness, it's a deafness and a blindness that prevents us from seeing how we affect other people, and the bottom line....now nobody consciously knows they are doing this okay. We're talking about productive change here, nobody knows or is deliberately....no one that I know is deliberately going out to hurt anybody, but this blindness and this deafness arises out of an unconscious refusal to see how our behavior affects other people, because somewhere back there in our unconscious mind, we just cannot face the possibility that we're doing something wrong.
Some people just can't face that they're wrong, but everybody's wrong, so it's some kind of character disorder if you can't admit that you're wrong and that you do things wrong from time to time because everybody does. Other people....this is all unconscious, they just don't want to change and all that they could see is themselves, that they're literally under a veil okay, and all they see is themselves, and also people that have spiritual deafness and it's really spiritual blindness too, have a tendency to think that everybody else is feeling what they're feeling, or to think that everybody else thinks like they think, you see. We're in a little world. What we're trying to accomplish here is to bring forth a change of consciousness, we're trying to expand our horizons and to expand our minds so that we can be a more aware and a more productive person, so that our relationships can be more positive, and in order to do this, we have to communicate, but communication depends on our ability to see and to face the truth about what's in our own heart, and how we are affecting the other person.
So spiritual deafness and blindness stops us or prevents us from seeing how we affect the other person, and all that we're left with is how we feel. One of the biggest problems with people who are spiritually deaf, or I don't even want to say problems, one of the biggest characteristics or strongest characteristics of people who are spiritually deaf is that there will be an interaction between them and somebody else, and they will be hurt, but they will be blinded and deafened to their contribution to what brought forth the incident, and people who are spiritually deaf cannot hear what the other person is saying, you see. They cannot hear what the other person and they cannot relate to what the other person is feeling because they're locked in their own little world, where whether they realize it or not, they think that everybody is like them, and they think that everybody's motive is the same motive that they have, and they think....now this is all unconscious, you know, when I say they think, what I mean is, the people who are spiritually deaf react to circumstances and situations and conflict as if the other person was just like them, as if the other person was thinking what they're thinking, as if the other person was feeling what they're feeling, and there seems to be a hindrance to understand that in a given situation. We can have five people that can really see the situation differently.
Now there are areas which are morally....the situation is established where there's a moral issue, but even in moral issues there are people who have an opinion that does not go on the side of the moral issue, but, you see, the less clear cut the issue is, the more difficult it is to discern that someone who has a different opinion is really right or wrong, but we're not talking about a moral issue. There's just different opinions, you see. It's very hard to see the other person's point of view if you're coming out of a spiritual place, whether you know it or not, where you are presuming that, that person is having the same reaction that you're having, the same person is thinking and feeling and has the same motives as you do, and these are the characteristics of spiritual deafness. We are deaf, those of us who suffer from this, are deaf to the other person. We're deaf to how they feel about it, how they think about it, we're deaf to how we're talking about problem solving today, we're deaf to how they are going about to solve the problem, so, therefore, we go about to solve it in a completely different way which frequently hinders the person that's trying to solve the problem, because there's a veil between us and that veil is covering our mind and it's selfishness, you see.
The first time somebody told me that I was selfish, I was offended. I said, I'm not selfish, I do this and I do that, but the true definition of selfishness is that you're primary concern is with yourself.
Now I still couldn't relate to that until it was explained to me, because I did a lot of things for other people when I was told that I was selfish, and most of us who are selfish don't know it, especially if we're the kind of people that do a lot of things for other people. But selfishness means concerned with self. So here once again we're talking about motives, and if what we do primarily is to protect our self and defend our self that makes us selfish, that is the definition of the word.
Now there is a healthy selfishness and you have to draw distinct lines here, you have to walk in this world hopefully in the wisdom of Christ, being aware that there are certain activities you cannot be engaged in, I'm not talking about that, I'm not talking about the wisdom of how to survive in this world. I'm talking about situations where your motive is....Lord I'm having trouble getting this out Lord, okay, when we walk in wisdom, in righteous wisdom, there are certain things we do and we don't do, and there is a righteous selfishness. Now there is somebody here who for several times I had to correct them, they didn't understand the statement of the self help groups, of the twelve step groups that say this is a selfish program. That statement is talking about people who are in relationships where the person they're in a relationship with is making ungodly and unhealthy demands on them, in that case you have to be selfish and say look, if I give up these twelve step meetings because you want me to walk the dog, the end of that choice to give up what I need to stay strong to do something that you want me to that is not essential, the end of it will result in my downfall or is a devastation unto me. That is a healthy selfishness you see. That is a healthy selfishness. We're all called upon to make decisions every day, all the day long, what we will do in every circumstance. There are issues every day that we have to deal with, you see, but selfishness that I'm talking about, the kind of selfishness that is destructive is a selfishness that will make a decision that is not life threatening, that is not....I'm not talking about issues that are well being, I'm talking about your relationships with other people, and let me give you an example. Someone unconsciously or whatever will make a decision to not admit that they have done something and let the other person feel bad because of it or experience discomfort because of it, that kind of selfishness, that on the surface, the person says well, you see none of this comes into your conscious mind, it's just the way we deal with people.
And I was talking with xxxxxx the other day about the man who sold her, her computer. She called him up and told him that she found out that there was no fax program on her computer, and the way he dealt with it, was to just ignore her and not call her back. Apparently, see, I use to struggle with this for years. I finally figured it out when people do that, I wasn't raised like that you see. I finally figured it out when people do that, it's their way of saying, I'm not going to give it to you, but it's very ungodly and it's very unscriptural, the Scripture says let your yea be yea, and your nay be nay.
If you can't do something for somebody you have to tell them, or if you don't tell them, you're dealing with the situation in pride. You're suppose to communicate openly. Now xxxxxx had a very good price on that computer, he never, from what I understand, he never promised her a fax program. He promised her a modem, but he never promised her a fax program, so he should tell her that, I never promised you a fax program. For whatever reason people cannot do this, and when you don't, that's really hurtful to people that you call them, that they call you and they're waiting for a phone call back and you don't return their call or you don't answer their question.
That person has a choice to be a man of integrity, and say, look I'm sorry if you're disappointed, when you talked about it, I never told you that I would give you that, you know you never asked me and I never told you, you see. But to let the person be waiting for your phone call and have to guess what's in your mind, this is wounding and it is hurtful to people and is a communication problem, okay. So that's the kind of selfishness that I'm talking about, that's selfishness. In a circumstance like that, a decision is made no matter how unconscious it is, a decision is made, not to do the right thing, not to do what will be the right thing with regard to your customer, but to do what was the easiest thing for that man, or to do what would make that man feel good in his emotions and because he, for someone in that situation, feels good in their emotions dealing with the situation that way, they are hurting someone else so that they could feel good, that's the kind of selfishness that I'm talking about.
So we find that people that are spiritually deaf are in their own little world, cut off from communication with others because they're not sensitive to what other people are feeling or thinking, and they're not sensitive because unconsciously, of course, they're assuming that everybody is like them, that nobody is different than they are, and that if they're feeling this way everyone else is feeling this way too, okay, and the people in this condition will go through their whole life in their own little worlds. Now why are we talking about this here? Because one of the things that we're doing here is trying to build spirituality in you, and spirituality is intimately associated with sensitivity to other people, you see. Spirituality is intimately associated with sensitivity to other people, you see. If you want to hear from God in an everyday ongoing situation, I'm not saying that it cannot happen, that you won't hear from him if you're not sensitive to other people because there's all kinds of situations in this world, but let me put it to you this way. If you're a person who is desiring to hear from God on a more intense level, and you've been praying about it for a while, and you don't hear from him in the manner that you would like to, perhaps the problem is your lack of sensitivity. Now on the other hand I don't want anyone to think that because they have an intense relationship with God, that they may not be spiritually deaf, because that's not necessarily true, because we can be deaf in one area and not in another area, we could be able to see certain things in one area and not see other things, okay.
There's been a prophecy here, I know to me and I think to somebody else here, that we would know all the truth. Did someone else get a prophecy like that here? To get all the spiritual truth of the doctrine of Christ, everything else that comes along, you have to take the whole package and it includes seeing the whole truth in yourself and seeing the whole truth in others also, because either you're going to see all, or you're going to see in part. Now if you have five people who see in part, you may have five people that see in part in different ways, but if you want to see all things, you have to see all things, about the doctrine of Christ about the truth of God, about the truth of ourselves personally, about the truth of our brethren, and about the truth of humanity in general. So this awareness which is the exact opposite of deafness and blindness is intimately associated with maturing spiritually, you see.
We're called to be the two-witness company, and we're called to expose the sins of others, not to destroy them, but in a way that will produce the destruction of their sin nature and the increase of Christ Jesus in that person, but, brethren, we cannot move in this ministry if we're not looking into our own heart.
Now many of us want to look into our own heart but we can't, as I hear that from a lot of people, I can't see, I can't see. Well there's spiritual cataracts on our mind you see. So I guess that's why this message is coming forth this morning. My main goal, what I'm trying to say to you, this was my instruction from the Lord this morning, is to help you all to become aware that if you find yourself in a conflict, you see, if you're interacting with somebody, and all of sudden they're screaming at you, and to your mind there's absolutely no reason why they're screaming at you, you really have to ask the Lord if you somehow didn't contribute to this, you see.
I'm going to really simplify this, I'm going to break down the whole world, humanity, into two categories for the purpose of this understanding. The people who deal with their problems by being very calm, they almost never raise their voice, they just have that ability to stay calm, and the other category is people who have almost no tolerance for frustration, almost no tolerance for frustration, and they scream and yell a lot when they become frustrated. Now this is not acceptable behavior to scream and yell when you become frustrated or to become abusive or scapegoat, this is not acceptable behavior, but the benefit of being that kind of person, is that you can really see your errors and you know that you have to change. The category of people that have the ability to stay calm, in all forms of crisis and insult and etc., etc., they're in danger, people like this are in danger of thinking that they have not done anything whatsoever to contribute to the problem, okay, and that's a real danger you see. So people who are spiritually deaf almost always draw the conclusion that the other person is wrong, or that the other person did something, and they never see their contribution to it, because in their mind the fact that they didn't raise their voice means that they didn't contribute to it.
They could have been involved in very frustrating behavior, they didn't mean it, they didn't know they were doing it, we all have irritating ways about us, but some of us have more irritating ways than others, and I know that I do the best I can to be aware of the qualities that I have that may be irritating and to not act them out. I found out that to get along in this world, you have to really make an effort to go the extra mile in every interaction, to help the person not to be offended. If they've misunderstood you, to help them to understand you. If all of us lived like that, it would really be a great world. And sometimes I get selfish, sometimes I know somebody has misunderstood me, and I manifest, and I say, Lord I don't want to go back and explain it to them, I didn't do any thing wrong, they misunderstood me, but you have to, you see.
The one who has the understanding has to minister to the one who doesn't have the understanding, especially if they're suffering because of a lack of understanding. You want to be a son of God, you have to go to them and you have to set there discomfort at rest. Lots of times I tell you I don't owe you an explanation but I'm giving you one because I'm a son of God. I don't owe anybody, I only answer to God, I'm in a great place. If you can hear the difference, if you can hear the difference I don't owe it to you but I owe it to him, you see.
So that's.... I thought it was an exhortation, I'm talking for 45 minutes already. Let's see what I have on the board here, the Lord wants to open you up, you're like inside of tin cans he wants to use a can opener, he wants to get you out, because this is going to rev up your spirituality, this ability to be aware that people are thinking different things than you are or having different reactions to the same exact thing that you just experienced, it tones up your spirituality, it's going to make you more sensitive to other people, and when you're more sensitive to other people, you're much more equipped to do the work of the Lord. When you're sensitive to other people, you can move right in there and flow with the spirit you see. Spirit, feeling, spirit is in feeling, spirit is everything that you cannot see, so if you are in spiritual ministry, you have to start becoming aware, and the blockage is unconscious, of course, the blockage is that if you start becoming sensitive to other people, it's not easy and you're going to be exposed to the other people, because if you're sensitive to them, then you're going to be opening up yourself to them. That's the spiritual communication, it's exposing yourself, and you have to learn how to function in this world, it's not easy, but you could do it in Christ. And this is a part of spiritual manhood, you see.
A lot of people, like there's someone who's been on my mind for weeks, and I know they're staying away because I know this is their modus operandi. For whatever reason they don't want to partake of this ministry, and they cannot believe that I could be friends with them without them partaking of this ministry, they can't believe it because they can't be friends with me. They're under conviction when they're just around me, you see. So when you're spiritually deaf you are very aware of your own hurt feelings, but almost never aware that you have hurt the other person. It does happen sometimes that you could be completely blameless, but it's very rare. I say that it happens to me a lot after years and years and years of this training, that the Lord has put me through, sometimes people are hurt and I'm really blameless, okay, but I think in the average person it's very, very rare.
So spiritually deaf people are over sensitive when they're hurt, they have even trouble getting over it and forgiving, but they're almost completely unaware that maybe the reason the person acted in the way they did was because the hurt person provoked them somehow, and maybe the person that's deaf didn't even mean to provoke them. We have attitudes, and we have the way we deal with things that sometimes are very, very irritating, and I had someone say to me once, well that's the way that I am. Well you have to change, you could go through the rest of your life being that way, but then you can expect that you're going to be running into people that are going to be having bad reactions to you. Some people will have bad reactions to you, other people will not want to continue in a relationship, all kinds of different reactions. You see if we do all that we could do, and there's a separation in our life, or any kind of a trouble, then we stand blameless before God. We're not responsible for the other person, but we are responsible to do all that we could do, and it's really necessary to recognize that when we are hurt, maybe, just maybe, we did something that we were not aware of that the other person was reacting to when they lashed out at us. Don't misunderstand me, it's not acceptable to God to lash out at people, but if you want to look at this in a positive way, if you're in a relationship where there's a lot of lashing out, I'll give you a positive way to look at it, maybe this is your opportunity to see qualities in yourself that are provocative.
Let's just say that you're a person that does things that are very irritating sometimes. If no one is around to have a negative reaction to you, you could live and die and never know that you have this quality, so if someone lashes out at you or is in any way...., whether it's overt or subtle, here you have an opportunity to say to the Lord, Lord is there something offensive about me? And if there is I want to know what it is and I want to change. So that is the up side of having someone lash out at us. We can make the best of everything because spiritually deaf people are almost....100% of the time when they're offended, they never see that they did anything whatsoever at all, it's always the other person, and this kind of attitude alienates you from the other person, alienates you because the other person can only take so much of everything being the way you see it, you see. Communication in a relationship is a give and take, and you really have to understand how the other person feels. And all of this is a prerequisite to working together you see.
If you can't, that's how we started this message, if you can't flow together in the work place, or in a work situation, the chances of you flowing together in a relationship where emotions are high is very small, very small, you have a very small chance you see.
Okay the spiritual deaf person is aware of their emotional needs, but they're almost never aware of the other person's emotional needs. You know I was a spiritually deaf person, I was there, you know, I know that this is all true. You just think that everybody else is okay, see, because somebody looks strong and somebody's in charge of their life, it doesn't mean they have no emotional needs, everybody has emotional needs, everybody requires respect, and honor and affection, nobody's that strong that they don't need these things. The spiritually deaf person is unaware of their own hurtful behavior, they're very aware of the other person's hurtful behavior, but completely blinded to their own hurtful behavior.
And they think the whole world is crazy, the spiritually deaf person is unaware of their own motives, they're unaware of their own motives. See I have down over here at the bottom of the board, some of the results of being spiritually deaf, and d is that being spiritually deaf results in engaging in the wrong methods of accomplishing our goals, because if you're spiritually deaf that means your communication is very poor.
So if you want something from somebody, the chances are 99% that if you're spiritually deaf that you're not going to go to them and say, Look I need something, would you help me out, would you do this for me, it's not likely that you're going to do that because your communication is poor, you don't even know what your own motives are or if you do know what your motives are, you don't want any conflict, you see, the person see....life is negotiation, everything you want you have to talk to the person, they may say no, you have to compromise, you go back and forth. People or some people who engage in manipulation and dishonesty are people who do not want to risk the other person saying no. And here's our selfishness again, they just want what they want, what they want, and they do not want to give you a chance to say no, so they trick you into doing what they want you to do, but the saddest part of the whole thing is that there are large sections of our population engaging in this kind of behavior, and they don't even know it's wrong. They say it as a child, they've been doing it all their life, they think this is the way you accomplish something that you want to accomplish, through dishonesty and seduction and manipulation and they actually think it's diplomatic, because their definition of diplomatic is to avoid conflict, do whatever you have to do to accomplish your goal without avoiding conflict. This is another activity of selfishness and you need to know that if you engage in that behavior that you may be at peace because you have avoided conflict, but if the other person ever finds out that you have been dishonest and you tricked them, they will have a deep wound, and maybe they'll have a deep wound even if they don't find out, you see.
So lack of communication leads to all, to many other problems, and frequently the people who get things done this way by the wrong methods, they're unaware of their own methods, you see. They don't think they're doing anything wrong and then that person that finds out that they were tricked gets all upset, and maybe that's a person who lashes out, and here you have some quiet person seductively manipulating to get something done, and the person who's manipulated screaming, and the quiet person saying what is wrong with you, I didn't do anything wrong, you really have a problem.
So the spiritually deaf person is not aware of their own motives, neither are they aware of the reason why the person's screaming. Now look, people who scream, or people who do evil to you, okay, they have to have a reason whether they're aware of it or not, they have to have a reason, and it's our responsibility to say, Lord did I do anything to make some one choose that method of communicating with me.
I remember years ago when I was in my twenties, somebody deceived me in a very hurtful way, they gave me to understand something that eventually was exposed as untrue and it really wounded me, and some very wise person said to me in those days, now why did he do that, why did he not tell you the truth? I said, well I don't know, I don't know, I didn't make him do that, and the question was really saying to me, and the man said to me, "What would your reaction have been, if he told you the truth?" And knowing myself at the time I would have really carried on like a lunatic. Now does that make it okay to deceive somebody? No, but the person involved was a very passive person and they had a fear of my reaction, because I was a real Jezebel in those days. So that person's fear of my reaction made them be dishonest with me. Now that doesn't mean it's okay, it's not, what that person did was not right, but I have to face the fact that if I was a different kind of person, if I was not a roaring Jezebel in those days, that person would have been more honest with me.
Do you understand what I'm saying? It doesn't make what he did right, but I was not completely innocent in this deception, it was his fear of me that led him to do that, and if I was a more Godly person, I might not have had that problem, see. I was really offended when that man first told me that, but I now see that it's the truth. So for us to be blameless, we have to say that, first to be blameless in any situation, we have to be walking blameless in our whole life, you know.
Now a lot of people tell me that they're afraid of me now, you know when I use to hear that people were afraid of me, it use to really upset me, because I don't want people to be afraid of me, but I know that when I get my behavior in order that I am really fair and honest as I deal with people from day to day. I now know that any fear that someone has of me is their own problem. If I were a punishing person, tyrannizing person, an unfair, and unreasonable person, if I was giving you reason to be afraid of me, okay, then I would be party to your fear of me, but if the reason that you're afraid of me is because of the anointing that's on me, well there's nothing I could do about that.
If the reason that you're afraid of me is because I run a tight ship here, but a Godly tight ship, well then there's nothing I could do about that. You have to deal with your fear, I hope you're all getting this message. The spiritually deaf person is unaware of teamwork, and that's really one of the major issues that I believe the Lord brought forth this message this morning, I didn't know I was going to preach it until an hour ago. It's very hard to have a good place in teamwork if you're not communicating with other people, you see.
Now the deaf person, the spiritually deaf person is likely to say to themselves, well I was just trying to help, and if the person leading the team says to them, now don't do that or rebukes them, the spiritually deaf person says well, huh, that's the last time I'm going to help her or him, see.
So the spiritually deaf person cannot understand that although they thought.... you know they thought that they said what they said or they did what they did because they wanted to help. We need to understand that help that is not asked for by the one who's trying to head up the team has the exact opposite effect then of helping. It brings in confusion, it brings in misunderstanding, and it prolongs the unsolved problem. So we can not have our own definition of help or assistance, you have to flow with the team, under the direction of the head of the team. Now the ideal situation in Christ is that nobody will have to be told anything, everybody will know what they're suppose to do receiving their communication from Christ Jesus within them.
So if we have a teamwork situation and there's confusion there, that means at least one person is in their carnal mind, cause Christ Jesus doesn't thrust himself in another person. It's a fine motive to want to be helpful, but we must be helpful in a productive way or we become counterproductive. We think we're being helpful and the result of it is the exact opposite of what we tried to bring forth.
The spiritually deaf person is not aware of creativity, usually they are not aware of their own creativity, they are not aware of their own gifts. Usually they're rigid and under the law, spiritually deaf. Creativity is an inner voice, you see. So we have to respond to our inner voice and they're unaware of creativity in others also, usually imputing their own motives to the other person. Spiritually deaf people, especially those who are under some kind of rigid law, cannot comprehend that other people are thinking creatively and may feel differently about something. And again, if you want to move in the spirit, creativity is closely associated with moving in the spirit, we have to come out of this religious bondage, we have to come out of our own way of doing things, because spirituality is a flowing together with other people, a flowing together like the planes that you see flying in formation in the skies, that's what we have to do.
And the way to enter into this, if you can hear this message and you can associate yourself with this message, the first thing that you have to do is ask Jesus to help you to be silent. If you can identify with this and you find that you're talking and that you're not moving in teamwork, but what you're saying and doing is interfering with the one who the headship is on at that moment, the way to go is to stop talking for a season until Christ starts rising in you. I know when I came to the Lord I had a lot of problems, and one of the problems that I had was that I imputed evil motives to everybody, well to a lot of people, I imputed evil motives to them, and the way the Lord dealt with me on this was that I took a position I was going to suffer the loss unless Christ Jesus rose up and defended me, and that I would give everybody the benefit of the doubt, I would believe whatever they told me. If I thought somebody meant something or someone had a particular motive and they told me they didn't, where the old me would have said you're lying to me, I decided that I would take their word for it, and unless Christ Jesus came around and said, Sheila, you were right and that person really did have an evil motive towards you, if I didn't hear from Christ Jesus I would believe what they told me.
And it took a couple of years and now I have a very good ability to discern people's true motives. A lot of people really do have evil motives towards you, sometimes they know it and sometimes they don't know it. As a son of God, we are suppose to come into all truth. All truth is not just doctrine, all truth is the truth of people's hearts towards you, all truth includes your own motives and the truth of other people's motives towards you, and then when you start seeing all this evil you start going through a stage where everybody doesn't have to be the same, but I went through a stage where you're angry, because you see the evil in people's hearts, and then you go through a stage that you're angry, because you see the evil and they don't even know that the evil is there.
There are people walking around thinking that they're great Christians and they have all these evil motives in their heart. I went through that stage, where I was angry over that, and then eventually you mature into Christ Jesus where you become the teacher who will show people whose motives are ungodly, that they're there, and how to deal with them and how to get delivered from them, because, brethren, the whole message of salvation is that Christ Jesus is come to deliver us from our carnal mind. Christ Jesus is come to set us free from thinking with an animal mind that brings conflict and pain and trouble into our life, and I have found out that we are the source of all discomfort. Everything is how you deal with the problems.
We do not have to be upset, but the problem is that a lot of people make this choice in their carnal mind, I do not have to be upset, and then they deny the circumstances of what's going on. What I am saying to you is we can see the truth, we can know when someone's heart is evil towards us, and we can deal with it in prayer without being upset in a Godly manner, and when we do that, we help the other person too, see. But the bottom line is that you cannot come into a spiritual ministry without being willing to face the full truth about yourself, about your loved ones, about your wife, about your husband, about your children, about your parents. Does that mean you have to hate them? No, but you have to face the truth about them.
You see, it's very hard to face the truth about your immediate family and people that you've loved and still love them, you see. Let's say they've really done something wrong to you, it's much harder to face the truth and forgive them, truly forgive them and continue to love them, than it is to deny what they did, it's much easier to, well not for me, but for the spiritually deaf person, it's much easier to deny what they did, it's much easier to deny that there's a problem there. It's much easier to deny that maybe I did something that contributed to their behavior, maybe I provoked them, they treated me so badly, maybe I really....I know I didn't mean it, but maybe I did something that really embarrassed them.
Maybe I did something that really embarrassed them or really hurt their feelings, it's much harder to face the truth and to forgive and to continue on knowing, and to love somebody knowing that they have the character disorders that they have. That is a challenge, to me that is a challenge of a lifetime to really face the truth about myself, and love myself with my failures, and my shortcomings and to love and forgive others knowing the truth about them. And once you come to this place, you then are in a position to help them, and the spiritual principle that I can apply to this is the piercing through to the left side of the heart center you see. When you're here on the right side of the heart center, you're grappling with Satan and she's got authority over you. But when you pierce through to the left side of the heart center and you connect with the Godhead above, you become strong enough to come back into your heart center and drive Satan back, boil her sea, and bring order to your life, see.
You've got to stop, you've got to separate, this is the true sanctification, you've got to separate from the activities of the carnal mind to live in victory out of the mind of Christ, and to really help people in Christ, now there is an assistance to people in the carnal mind, I've had people come to me and say, Sheila I've been in ministry in the church for years, why are you telling me to be quiet? Because your ministry in the church was out of your carnal mind. It did good, it did good, but it did not produce eternal life, and all ministry that you give to people out of the mind of Christ, no matter what it is that you helped them with, no matter what it is that you do for them, if it's coming out of the mind of Christ, you're leaving seeds of Christ in their heart, which could sprout and produce immortality in that person.
So if you want to go to the ministry which is in Christ Jesus, see, there is a drying up of the ministry of your carnal mind no matter how good that ministry was. See there are many ministries in the church today feeding the poor, they're doing a great work, there are people who are hungry, they're sending medical help, these are all good works, brethren, and I'm in no way suggesting that the people who are doing them should stop doing them, but there are no seeds of immortality with this work.
I think I mentioned this off the tape, when we prayed for Phillip, that the ministry which is in Christ Jesus is that you just live your life, and the Spirit brings people to you, and just one short encounter with them can change their whole life. You know I had somebody say to me once, someone who was coming to me for counseling, but they didn't come very often because they had counseling on their medical insurance at work. She said, I go to this counselor, I pay her $1, I sit there for an hour and I walk out and nothing's changed, I talk to you for ten minutes, and my whole life is changed, and I don't take any glory for this. This is the ministry of Christ Jesus.
There is power in simple kindness that comes out of Christ Jesus, but your carnal mind must be silent, you see. She's got to shut up if you want this kind of ministry in Christ Jesus to come forth. If you don't want it, it's okay, but you can't have both at the same time. You know when I was a young person, I was a very selfish, greedy young person, and I use to think that everything that I achieved whether it was a material thing or any kind of an accomplishment, that I would just continue to hoard all these things in, and my possessions, spiritual and material possessions would just increase and increase and increase, but I found out that you lose things, you know things fall away.
Just last week a thought entered my mind, I honestly don't know where it came from, God or Satan, I don't know, but a thought entered my mind that a particular sweat shirt was my favorite sweat shirt and the next week I put it in the wrong wash and it's all ruined, it has black marks on it, my favorite sweat shirt. So I don't whether that was the Lord telling me that, that was idolatry or that was Satan trying to hurt me, but I'm not attached to material things. So I found out that I couldn't, that my greed was not realistic, that I could accumulate every good thing that happened to me over the years, things come into my life and things are taken away from my life both material things, relationships, spiritual and emotional experiences.
I was raised up in a Pentecostal church where I cast out demons three, four, sometimes five nights a week, and I was very upset when that anointing to cast out demons was taken from me. I was very upset, but the Lord took it from me. That doesn't mean that I couldn't cast out a demon today if he wanted me to, but I was doing that three, four, five nights a week. I haven't cast out a demon in a couple of years, and I don't have the opportunities to do so, and when that opportunity arises, it's usually.... the anointing is usually on someone else in the room because I have a different kind of anointing now, see.
So I found out that you can't hold on to these things and accumulate them. Why am I telling you all this? I'm telling it to tell you that if you want the spiritual ministry which is in Christ Jesus, you have to be willing to let go of other forms of ministry that you have engaged in over the years. Don't let go unless he's working on you letting go in that area right now, but prepare your mind that you cannot do everything, you cannot do everything, and he taketh away the first so that he can give you the second, see.
Well I think I've pretty much covered this just let me comment on this last row here, spiritual deafness results in confusion. Okay, you confuse the person who's trying to communicate with you. Frequently if you're spiritually deaf you're not confused, but the person who's trying to communicate with you or run the team gets confused, it results in misunderstanding. See it's very hard to run a team if the person that you're giving an instruction to interprets what you say and goes out and does whatever they want to do. What kind of a team work are you going to have? It doesn't work, right? It doesn't work, and the bottom line is, there's also an element of pride and rebellion there, you can't.... there can only be one boss brethren, you see.
In the army this is the example that I give all the time. The one star general submits to the four star general. It doesn't mean that you're put down or there's anything wrong with you, but everybody can't be a boss. My mother used to tell me you can't have all cooks, all captains and no workers, something like that. It doesn't work, you see, it doesn't work, and it doesn't mean that you won't be a chief in another circumstance, in another situation, but I will tell you this, that the chances of the Lord promoting you to a place of headship before you can learn to submit to headship is not likely, right, because if you can't submit you can't lead you see. Even Jesus was under the father. You'll never do it, you can't ask people to do what you won't do yourself or what you can't do yourself, so you'll be under authority until you learn how to submit.
So spiritual deafness produces unsolved problems, the problem doesn't get solved. Everybody is going in their own direction, you're busy with trying to figure out the confusion and the misunderstanding that the problem doesn't get solved, and lot of people live their whole lives in marriages and family situations where nobody understands each other, they all just go in their own direction, and it looks like they're all together but emotionally and mentally they're all going in their own direction, there's no communication at all, no flowing together. Spiritual deafness results in the use of wrong methods to accomplish your goals, dishonesty, manipulation and seduction which arises out of wrong thinking, dishonesty, manipulation and seduction which arises out of a thinking that says all confrontation is no good, but the truth of the matter is, people who engage in this do not want to give the other person the opportunity to say no.
They don't want to give the person the opportunity to say no, so they engage in dishonesty, manipulation and seduction. Spiritual deafness also produces isolation, I just mentioned that before, people of the same family marry people sometimes, there just is no spiritual communication. Now I'm not talking about marriages where we have someone here in the congregation where the husband travels a lot and the wife travels a lot, that's okay, you can do that, I'm talking about a spiritual communication. You could have a marriage where the two husband and wife have careers and they're apart from each other a significant amount of time, I'm talking about a spiritual communication, I'm talking about a tie that is rooted in something in a communion of understanding one another, and spiritual deafness will produce a dull spirit, you see. Because as long as you are yielding to this curse of thinking of perceiving only what you feel and what you think and what you need, it also dulls your hearing to the spirit world, and what we're trying to do here is become sensitive to the spirit world.
And spiritual deafness produces also blindness and loss, a lot of loss, you lose a lot of opportunities, a lot of relationships, a lot of experiences why? Because you're in your own little world and you won't.... you're like a turtle in a shell, and you won't come out of it because you don't want to experience being hurt, you don't want to experience being wrong, you don't want to have to submit to authority, etc., etc., it's all founded in pride and rebellion and narcissism and this is the condition in a variety of degrees of all of humanity. We're all deaf and blind to God except.... not those of us who have a restored relationship with him. Fallen humanity wants to do what each man wants to do, what's right in his own eyes. I actually heard someone on television last week saying, what is, that's your definition of adultery, his wife doesn't care so, therefore, it's not adultery. Is that crazy? Adultery, I mean that is a word that is clearly defined in all of western society. Now, and the man, the man who said it, was trying to make up a new definition, his definition was, sexual involvement with someone other than with your mate if your mate minds. Now whoever, and the one whose making up the new definition of adultery is saying to the people who are cleaving to the true definition of adultery, that's your definition, okay.
This is all narcissism, turning the table, switching it around, making the other person the guilty party. It's all unGodly and it strengthens pride in you, it strengthens the bands of pride in you. I want to pray for you all, I really didn't intend to bring you this message this morning but the Lord gave it to me.
Thank you Jesus. Well father, we just pray for everybody including myself Lord, may all spiritual deafness be stripped from us, may the stopped ears be opened, and the closed eyes be opened Lord, and may our spirituality come forth Lord and ascend above the carnal mind, may we experience the liberty which is in Christ Jesus, father, that we might return to the world above, and dwell with you, and I forgive everybody's sins Lord and I pray that this message should do the job that you intend it to do, and that spiritual growth should ensue Lord, and you should be glorified in all of us in the name of Jesus. Any questions or comments on this?
Another, one other thing, another activity of the spiritually deaf person which is also a characteristic of narcissism is if that person wants something from somebody else, they will put the issue to them in a way, in other words instead of saying to the person look I need something will you do it for me? They make it sound like they're doing a favor for the other person. The person who has the need makes it sound like they are doing a favor, so they're switching roles.
You see if I have something that you need or something that you want, and you come to me and say Sheila can you do this for me, I could say no, you see. So I guess I mentioned this earlier but I didn't put it quite this way, but the person who engages in dishonesty and manipulation will go to the person and say, Look I want to do something for you, okay this is my gift for you and, therefore, you can give up the other thing that you don't need, you see. I'll give you this so that you can give up the other thing that you don't need. So when you do that, when you're the person that needs something, but you make yourself the great giver then you deny the person the opportunity to say no, you're dishonest, you know you don't have to thank the person because you've made yourself the giver, and if the person ever figures out what you did, you put an arrow in them, because you've tricked them and you've made a fool out of them. When you manipulate somebody you make a fool out of them, if they ever get the revelation in their head as to what you did, you made a fool out of them. That's the truth, manipulation is very wicked. Any questions or comments here.
No it's not out of order and we're coming to that place you know, xxxx, I am at that place with xxxxxx and xxxx, and I know that you've been telling me for quite a while that you want that, but your reactions to things that I told were still, were such that it put me off, it didn't encourage me to do this, do you understand what I'm saying? But you're doing better and better when I tell you things, the last couple of times I've told you something, you haven't been aggressive towards me at all. So I'm perfectly willing to do this, okay, as the Lord leads me, but I need cooperation from you because you're very strong you know you have a very strong will and a strong mind and over the years, I know it wasn't your intention to hurt me but your responses to what I told you were very hurtful towards me. Do you understand what I'm saying? Pride rises up you see, pride rises up.
So anybody who wants this relationship with the son of God who has the ability to show someone their own motives, the person's responsibility is to deal with their own pride you know, which you are starting to do. So I'll be able to tell more and more things. Do you understand what I'm saying? Your pride used to rise up, and you're very strong and that pride used to really wound me, although it wasn't intended to wound me, it was intended to defend, pride defends self you see, you understand what I'm saying, pride defends self. Someone has to really be convinced that they want to hear these things to the point that they're going to restrain their own pride, which you have started to do. Well if you're not aware of it, I guess that's what it is, sometimes I get confused, whether it's your subconscious or your unconscious, but if it's by-passing your consciousness, it's by-passing your consciousness.
But you've got a very spiritually.... you're male, spiritually speaking you're male, you're very strong and this strength that we have, either our carnal mind lays hold of it or our Christ mind lays hold of it. And it's not an easy thing to hear this kind of correction and hold back the pride of our mind which is our knee jerk reaction, and when we're told something about ourselves that may not be pleasant, pride rises up, and attacks the person, telling now if you're aware that pride is rising up in you and attacking the person who's trying to help you, you can deal with it more, but it's really taking you a long time to perceive it, and from what you're telling me you don't even perceive it.
What's on my mind is the last time I did tell you something on the phone, I don't even remember what it was, and I told you, I said, xxxx, I feel like we're striving and we're getting into a fight so I really don't want to talk about it, and you made the correction, whether you knew that you did it or not, you made the correction and your pride was attacking me you see, and I felt that I was striving with you, and if I kept on going, we would be in a fight, which would be terrible, as far as I'm concerned. See, so I told you what I was feeling, and for the first time, you made the correction, that pride that was risen up went down, and I finished telling you what I had to say to you. You had no awareness of that at all? Yeah, the pride went down, and you listened to me, and I finished what I had to say to you and I hope that I helped you.
I don't even remember what it was, but that's the problem, and it's the problem that we will all come up against. Did that mean something? Yes, that is the problem that everyone manifesting in the two-witness company will come up against. The people's carnal mind will rise up to attack you because the carnal mind that this exposure of sin, without condemnation, is to the destruction of the carnal mind, you see. So the more in touch that we are with our own sin nature, the more ability we have to restrain her when she's trying to attack the one who's come to help us.